The Book of Love
by Elise Jacobs
Summary: NonMagic AU. HPSS Two lovers live an average life full of joy, love, happiness, arguments, grief, and strife…but everything good must come to an end. Can Harry cope with the possibility of Sev cheating on him? Can Sev salvage his failing relationship?
1. Ginny is Always Right!

**The Book of Love**

By: Elise Jacobs

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything and am not getting anything out of this except the sick twisted pleasure of making Rowling's characters do things that she never wanted them doing.

**Summary: **Non-Magic AU. HP/SS Two lovers live an average life full of joy, love, happiness, arguments, grief, and strife…but everything good must come to an end. Will these two lovers be able to have the fairytale ending that everyone dreams of?

**Warning:** This is slash…so if you don't like it DON'T READ IT!

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**Chapter One**

"**Ginny is Always Right!"**

**Friday, March 26th**

"Have a good day at work, Love."

Severus looked out the window and replied simply, "I'll try."

I watched quietly as he opened the door and stepped out of the car. Teens were everywhere running around talking to their friends who were all dressed in uniforms of navy blue. My dear, tired, ageing professor dressed in his black suit quickly walked around to the other side of the car to where I sat holding the button to let down my window. He leaned into it and whispered into my ear. "Please mum…the dog ate my homework and Mrs. Weisenski wants me to see me dead."

"Pfft! Oh Sev. What would you like me to do? Write you a note?"

"No. But, I do want a kiss." He said quirking his lips in to a small half smile.

Obligingly, I placed a quick peck on his lips and pushed him out of the window. "Get! You have bacon to bring home Prof. Snape"

"Yes, yes and don't you need to be somewhere, like, I don't know, your studio trying to sell those monstrosities that you spend hours on? Really you spend the whole day in your studio just making doodles and finger painting."

"It's called ART! And I'll have you know that I spent a whole semester on finger painting."

"Yeah, in Kindergarten. I'll be done with afternoon rehearsal at six thirty. I'll walk home. Will you have dinner prepared?"

"Of course, it's lasagna night!"

"Alright."

As my love pushed his way through the students I yelled out the window to him, "Say hello to Sean for me!"

Sev turned around without missing a step. Laughing, he yelled back, "you got it!"

Closing the window I watched as the man I loved walked further away from my car and into the building where we had met seven years ago. Hogwarts Academy for the Fine Arts was the best fine arts school in the area, and for six of the seven years I spent in attendance, I never even knew that the surly baritone existed. I had had him for music appreciation my final year which I had just barely passed, lord knows that I could never have made it in the music halls of Hogwarts. Like me, Severus had spent the better part of his youth in her halls studying the fine arts, and now he spent his days working with the advanced vocalists trying to prepare them for the future that he had always wanted but would never have. Sev had been the top of his class but some how never managed to leave those familiar halls. Those who can't, teach. I guess that was why he seemed to live with a chip on his shoulder. Year after year he watched as his students all excelled and went on to have careers as professionals while he spent his life slaving away for Dumbledore while desperately trying to get his music out there for someone to hear. The life of a singer songwriter was a hard one, especially when that singer song writer was pushing forty. I guess that was why he was always just a little cold.

I drove off towards my studio. It was only five blocks away from the school, but I had my own parking lot in the back, and the car was less likely to get vandalized by rowdy teenagers who were angry about a low grade in music appreciation behind my store. My studio was a nice little shop. Perfect really. It was tucked away on a little corner just off the main street. It had five rooms. One was a storage room where kept my supplies and packing materials. The second was a little office where I paid the bills and talked to customers who wanted work done. The third was a small bathroom complete with shower and changing stall. I can't begin to tell you how many times I found myself in there because I had gotten a little _too_ caught up in my work. Fourth was the Exhibition room where all of my work that was for sale was on display. It was large and it was tall. Since my shop was on the corner it had the moat amazing lighting, two story windows flooded the room with plenty of natural light no matter what time of day it was. And fifth room was my loft. It was my favorite. A wrought iron spiral staircase in the exhibition room led up to the second floor landing was where I kept my personal collection and did all of my work it even had a bed and a dresser full of some of my more lived in work clothes. As most rooms had pieces on display my entire studio was painted white, as not to distract the viewer from the product. After all, this shop was a business and bills had to be paid. If white walls made the Art jump out just enough to make the sale then they were worth it. The old, battered, paint splattered, hard wood floors only helped to add character to the old shop. I loved this place it had been my first real investment. I took all the money I had left from a parent's estate and poured it into this place after graduation. I had even lived here for the first year and a half after I moved out of my Aunt's house. That was before I had moved in with Severus though.

The day was just like any other day. I came in looked over what commissioned work I had to do, looked over the appointment book to see if anyone was on the schedule to come in for a Portrait sitting, and then decided whether or not I had time to call for a model. Today I was lucky. No one was coming in and I only had a few things to do to finish the paintings I was doing for Mrs. Thaddeus Archibald Jones IV, a local mother of three. I had about six other commissioned pieces that I needed to get to, but hers were the only ones of any real importance right now. 2 months is my standard delivery time but most projects that the mothers of the town had for me only took about 6-8 hours of studio time to complete. Simple really, these upper middle class home makers come in hand me a photograph of their child and ask me to copy it. Of course I ask what median and size, but in reality it is the simplest thing a customer can ask me to do. As I get paid by the piece and not by the hour I have the privilege of taking my sweet time. If I wanted to take a day to work on my own work, I could. Even if was a great at portraits, I was still an artist and I had my own interests that I wanted to work on. Portraits pay the bills but they weren't art! So, making a quick decision, I picked up the phone and made a call to a good friend.

"Hello?"

"Hey Gin, are you doing anything today?"

"Actually no, what can I do for you?"

"Well, I was hoping you wouldn't mind bringing your cello and little Hannah to come see me?"

"What do you want with me, my daughter, **and** my Cello, if I may ask?"

"Nothing too terrible. I just want you to come over and help me with an animal sacrifice."

"Hehehe…No really what do you want."

"I just want to paint you. You see, I have this friend, who wrote a short story that he swore I just _had_ to read, so he took me and Sev to lunch at this new restaurant downtown that served really good wraps, _but_ the place was playing this god awful elevator music. After about thirty minutes of Kenny G. some classical stuff clicked on and the first song that came on was The Swan, which made me think of your senior recital and how beautiful you looked your pant suit with your hair all pulled up and your legs spread apart lovingly cradling your Cello, and what can I say. I was inspired. So will you my dear, dear friend please bring your instrument and your lovely little girl to my humble studio and play for me, so that I have a chance of one day possibly being able to sell a piece with a subject of my own choosing instead of this god forsaken spoiled children who will never appreciate a the skill and technique that was involved in the creation of the painting of them and their siblings that their mother purchased for spot above the sofa in the living room of their suburban upper middle class home."

Laughing, Ginny agreed, "Of course silly. I'll come over right now."

I walked about getting the loft ready. I moved a bright red chair from the corner of the room to the raised platform I had for model display in the middle of the room and draped it in a dark green coverlet. I pulled out my drawing board, paper, and several different kinds of utensils varying from charcoal sticks and pencils, to crayons and oil pastels. When I heard the bell ring and a baby squealing I quickly set down my things and hurried down the steps to help my ginger friend with her load.

"Come on Gin, you could have left the case in the car and I would have got it for you." I quickly took the large instrument case and placed it against the wall.

The red head, who was now able to tend to her daughter's cries which were quickly silenced with the prompt placement of a pacifier, smiled at me, "really, how do you think I handle it normally? Hannah can scream all she wants. It can wait the whole two minutes between the car and house. Honestly, what do you think I learned in school? How to spell? HA! All I learned was how to carry a whole lot of stuff with out hurting myself. So where do you want me?"

Of course, she was right. Ginny always was right. "Upstairs, we'll start with a few sketches and then we'll see if Hannah can tolerate a painting."

She set up as if it were just normal practice, as I quickly ran around looking for different angles and views. Finally, choosing a spot I sat down on the floor and began to sketch as she rosined her bow and began to play a tuning exercise. The lines just seemed to flow on to the page just as the different tones seemed to flow from the person in front of me. She began to play several different tunes which she knew from heart. She became lost in it, letting her hair fall it to her face, closing her eyes and just letting the music flow. It was why I loved drawing musicians. When they played they became as lost in their work, as I did. They were oblivious to everything but the love of their art. It was a passion that we all shared. I loved the way light and shadow played on Ginny's form, the way it made her hair translucent, and the way it curled around her lips to capture the almost nonexistent smile that was frozen on her face. I wanted to capture it all. The charcoal got everywhere as I blew on the drawing trying to free it from all excess dust. Ginny stopped and laughed as I realized that I had blown dust all over her.

"Well, I guess that you must not have liked that one." Her eyes glittered as she smiled at me. And it sent a pang through my heart.

"I haven't seen a smile like that in years."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Sev, he used to smile like that at me, but not anymore. He is just so caught up with his work. He's always at that damn piano of his banging out melodies, working with some kids from the school, or grading papers. I just don't know. He doesn't smile anymore. At least, not like is used to."

Ginny gently grabbed her bow with her left fingers never letting her hand leave the neck of her cello, as she shifted in her seat to get a better look at me. "I thought you two had the perfect life."

"No far from it. Recently he has been quieter then normal; he is more distant and reserved. He still jokes around and is his sarcastic self but it seems as if it's forced."

"Well you all do that." She laughed as she began to play again.

"What?"

"Become distant and then try to hide it. Men that is, you all seem to go through phases, it doesn't mean anything. Believe me, I have six older brothers, _and_ have a husband who is just like your Severus!"

Listening to what she had to say, I got up and started to look for a new angle, "How is Blaise anyway?"

"We aren't talking about him," quickly turning the topic back over to me, "how long have you two been together now?"

Finding the right spot I quickly sat down and began to sketch again, "Depends, from when we started dating? Or from when we officially called it a relationship? From, when we first slept together? Or from when we moved in together and stated splitting the bills?"

"I guess the last one, because I guess that would be the closest third you two have as a wedding anniversary."

"It will be five years on the 10th of April."

"Harry!?"

"What?" I responded angrily balling up the paper. Of course Ginny just _had_ to get up to look at me straight on. Now I would have to find a new angle.

"Congratulations!"

"For what?"

"Five years? That is a big one," She set down her cello and ran over to sit next to me on the floor. "What is that one….wood? You'll probably get a new easel! No wonder he has been distant, he is probably trying to figure out something really romantic for you two, have you been planning anything? I mean that's in about two weeks. Right? "

I smiled at her, "Well, I don't know about him but I have been planning a surprise for him for about six months. Severus once told me that he wanted to go to New York City and to see the Les Miserables on Broadway. It combines two of his greatest loves, music and Les Miserables, he has loved that book ever since he read it when he was fourteen. "

"But that show closed a few years back, didn't it?"

"Yes, it did. But they have re-opened it. So, I want to take him for our five year anniversary."

"That is so sweet."

"But here is the best part, our anniversary falls on a Saturday this year and Monday is a school holiday. So, I've booked a flight for us to leave on Friday evening for New York and return on Monday. I even arranged for a privet box for the show and everything. I can't wait to surprise him."

"That will definitely make him smile again. Isn't that really expensive? How are you going to get him to agree to it?"

"Simple, I just told him that that weekend was my weekend and for him not to plan anything at all. He has been given the strict orders that he is to arrange for no rehearsals to take place for that afternoon and to not even think about arranging anything with his friends. And as for the price, well all I have to do is sell more three paintings and the trip will have been paid for! Come on, enough talk, we have work to do."

I finished three more sketches of Ginny playing when Hannah began to fuss. She quickly set down the instrument and began the task of hushing the small six-month-old. As she cradled the babe to her shoulder I grabbed up a pencil and began to sketch. Once again I felt truly inspired. Nothing was more beautiful then a mother with her child. The connection between them was something that when captured on paper could make your heart stop. When done correctly, a painting of a parent and child could send you back to your childhood and back to your own mother's arms. How I wished that I had more memories of my own mother. And oh how I wished that I too would one day hold a child of my own in my arms. After the squawking child began to fall in to a gentle sleep I realized that I might never have that. I had Sev and that meant I would never have a child of my own, but at the very least I had _him_. Even if he had been distant as of late, he was my family now. As Ginny put her daughter into her carrier, and began to put up her cello, I carried all the sketches down the spiral staircase and in to the office. I quickly divided them so that they wouldn't be damaged and placed them into the shelving units that covered the far wall. A playful knock on the door signaled the young mother's entrance.

"So, Mr. Potter, what are you up to now?"

"Well, I think I'm going to work on my hands."

"Your hands?"

"Well not my hands, Sev's hands. on rainy days I like to sit and watch him play the piano as he picks at his tunes. It was one of the things that made me fall in love with him actually, his music. He has been getting so discouraged lately. It's almost as if he has giving up on ever getting recorded. He is just so talented. It's a shame that he is losing hope. I am happy that he is starting to love his job though. Ever since he got the advanced choir he has been so enthusiastic. When we do talk it is always about his students, especially one of his Baritone boys. It is always Sean this and Sean that. Sometimes I think it is Sean he is the relationship with and not me…hehe."

As I pulled out the half painted canvas from its shelf Ginny gasped, "Oh Harry, it's beautiful. How did you do that?"

The painting wasn't even close to being finished; I had only finished painting the keys and his left pinky and ring finger. "It still needs a lot of work. But I have great hopes for it."

"I would give anything to be able to paint like you do."

"Well I guess we're even because I would give anything just to be able to carry a tune in any way shape or form." I smiled and started to sing "I will Survive" only to have Ginny throw her hands over her ears and yell at me.

"Oh Harry, please don't give me a demonstration, all of Hogwarts knew of your legendary tone deft vocal stylings. I don't need to know if what my brother told me about your daily shower performances is true. I'd like to think that everyone can carry the tune of hot cross buns, please don't ruin it for me."

I laughed and walked back upstairs carrying the box of supplies to where my easel was set up.

"Please don't worry about Sev. I'm sure he is just trying to plan something for your anniversary and is worried about it. Call me this weekend and we'll do lunch."

"Will do, bye Ginny," with a quick kiss to her cheek I watched as she took Hannah and left. She was probably right. Ginny was always right.

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**Author's note**: Reviews are appreciated. Flames are not. Next chapter you can look forward to seeing more Harry Sev interaction! Hope you enjoyed it! Tune in next week for more stories from "THE BOOK OF LOVE" 


	2. Of Course Sev WOULD

**The Book of Love**

By: Elise Jacobs

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything and am not getting anything out of this except the sick twisted pleasure of making Rowling's characters do things that she never wanted them doing.

**Warning:** This is slash…so if you don't like it DON'T READ IT!

**Author's Note:** Thanks to risi and Iago96 for reviewing and this chapter is dedicated to you.

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**Chapter Two**

"**Of course Sev **_**would…**_**"**

**Friday 26 March**

Maybe I need more shading on the lip. Hmm…I guess that fixed it.

Scratching.

And a loose curl there.

More scratching.

And darken the fold in the shirt! And I'm done.

I really liked this one. It was of a young girl reading a book leaning against the arm rest of an over stuffed sofa. It was simple drawing but it would fetch a good price. I normally didn't work at home but it was something to do. Severus was late. He should have been home at seven but it was eight thirty now and Severus had yet to show up or call. This wasn't the first time he had been really late, but it had been happening more often recently. I looked over at the lasagna that I had set out for him in his normal spot at the table. I might as well cover it and put it in the oven so that is didn't go bad.

It was annoying really that he was this late. But oh well, he probably just got stuck at some meeting or with one of his students. A teacher's job was never done. I sat down on the couch in our rather messy living room and started the customary search for the television remote. It never failed. Severus always had to hide it in the most obscure place in the world. After searching the crevices of the cushions I leaned forward to the coffee table and began to shuffle papers around. Bills, music, magazines, more music, and remote! Mission accomplished.

Nothing was on. Eight thirty on a Friday night and here I am sitting around, alone watching TV. How lame could I possible be? Flipping through the channels I settled on some crap made for TV movie about some woman with leukemia whose husband left her for a much younger woman. After about hour of torment the lady died and her kids went to live with their aunt and the husband went and cried on her grave. Before I could find out if he ever got his kids back I heard the familiar sound of keys at the door.

I quickly flipped of the TV and started to make my way to the kitchen to get Severus his dinner. "It's about god damn time!"

Severus threw is keys on to the table with a bang. "I'm sorry! Sean really needed to work on technical audition piece, and it took a lot longer then either of us had expected. I would have called but I knew that you would just be angry."

I carried the plate back to the table and set it down. Another fight! That was the last thing that I wanted tonight. "Well I'm angrier at you for not calling. I would have understood. Whatever, I don't care. I kept your meal for you! Don't choke on it!"

"What the hell is your problem?" Severus snapped.

"My problem?! You told me you would be done at six thirty, which means that you would be back at seven. I told you I would be here and that is where I was. I was here waiting with your dinner! Did you seem to forget that we always spend Friday night together! It is the only god damn day of the week that you can get home at a reasonable hour and not spend the whole night at your piano! Friday night is MY night!"

"I told you! Sean needed help! And it is my job to help him."

"Your job is to teach kids how to sing and read music between the hours of eight thirty and four o'clock. You are not paid to help one student for an extra five hours after classes end!"

"He has an audition with Juilliard in less than two weeks. What was a supposed to do tell him? Sorry can't help you this tonight; the Mrs. is at home and has dinner waiting!"

I couldn't believe it. He called be his MRS. "You piece of crap! I'm nobody's Mrs. Even if there was a ring on this finger I would _never _be your MRS. Is that the way you see me? Do you see me as some trophy that you bring out over cocktails and tea? I would never lower myself to slaving away in this god damn house all day in night, hoping that you would come home me. I'm not a homemaker. I'm an artist! Just because we live and sleep together and I happen to cook and clean because it is more convenient that doesn't make me your Mrs. I'm a grown man for Christ's sake. How dare you?"

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he regretted saying anything. So when I turned and started toward the bedroom I knew that the argument was over. Severus might be an asshole who liked to push my buttons but he knew when he went too far. I slammed the bedroom door and threw myself on to the bed and started to cry. What the hell, Harry! Get a grip. You shouldn't be crying about this. He is late all the time. What is your problem? Get an F-ing grip! Don't let it get to you. It wasn't like he was doing it deliberately. But what if he did do it on purpose? What if he didn't want to come home. What if…

"Harry?"

I turned to look at him, tears still stinging the backs of my eyes.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have called you that." As he sat down on the bed I quickly decided to lean into the hand he placed on my shoulder. "And I should have called to tell you that I was going to be in late. In a few months Sean will be off at Juilliard and I'll be home more, but _only_ if he can get this audition right. I can't even begin to tell you how important this is for his future. If he doesn't make this then he will have no other options."

"Sounds like poor planning on his part. He should have applied to several conservatories not just freakin' Juilliard. Honestly, who banks on getting in to one of the most prestigious art schools in the world? Sounds to me like he needed to spend a few hours with the school's career consoler and not with you! Even I know that you supposed to apply to several schools of varying caliber to guarantee an acceptance!"

"It's not like that. His home life it really complicated. I can't tell you what is going on but know that he _has _to do well on this audition. And it _is_ my job to help him. He is my student and he needs me."

"There is always some student who needs help with an audition or some concert that needs an extra group. If it's not something with school you're at your piano working on your music or at some open mic night in London. I miss you Sev." I loved him so much and I hated the way that he had control of my heart. I despised the way I would just forgive him for anything and everything because he looked into my eyes and told me that he sorry.

"Well listen, on the seventh, that is the Wednesday of not this week but the one after, I'm taking Sean to his audition. And then after that we're done, and I'll be home more. I promise. And that weekend is yours. Remember?"

I laughed at the fact that he remembered on his own for once.

"I know I've been distracted but I'm always that way when this time of year roles around. Sean said that around St. Patrick's Day every year I turn in to an ogre, and that class becomes even more intolerable then usual. You understand don't you? You know how Hogwarts works. There is just so much to be done: Concerts to plan, auditions to prepare for, contracts to negotiate," as an after thought he added, "and then there's us."

"Which is always on the back burner!" I snapped indigently

"I know, and it's a wonder that you can even tolerate it. Just give me a few more weeks and everything will go back to normal! I promise! And this summer, I swear it will be just you, me, your painting and my piano!"

Sighing, I nodded. "From now on just tell me when you're going to be late. That way I can rent a GOOD movie!"

"What are you talking about?" He questioned lightheartedly, pulling me up off the bed and into a one armed hug as he led us in to the living room to watch TV and cuddle. Of course Sev _would_ just pretend like nothing happened. He would just let all go. And even though there was still so much that I had on my mind, I would just let myself go along with it as always.

"Let's just say that the WE channel is not a channel for Friday night!"

Severus chuckled and turned the TV to the history channel.

"Alright, I promise to tell you if Fridays are going to run long so that you can get yourself something to watch. Or perhaps read. TV is not the only option."

"It is when your eyes are tired from a day of painting."

"Oh my poor darling. Your eyes hurt? Well I guess your day could have gone much worse. After all you very well could have gotten yourself a paper cut?"

Jerk! Smirking up at him I simply responded, "HAHA…Very funny," the next matter of business was the seating arrangement. I tried to find a comfy position. I quickly curled up under Sev's right arm and tucked my feet under my legs. Now all I needed was something to hold on to, "Pass me the pillow."

As I was about to take it from him to complete my nesting routine he pulled it away quickly.

Like a small child I pouted and held out my arms to try and reach it. But Sev just held it farther. "Give it to me!"

"No!"

After a few more attempts, gave in and turned to get on to my knees to grab the pillow. "Gimme!"

He leaned into me and brought is face closer to mine whispering, "No."

Of course Sev _would_ kiss me while I was trying to get to my pillow. Not that I minded. God, I loved when he kissed me. Oh and when he did that thing that he did with his tongue, I could just die of pleasure. It was over all too soon. Our kisses always ended too soon. Severus had us now snuggled more tightly together, and now I had no need for the pillow that I had gained possession of. I had Sev's chest.

Severus Snape how I love/hate thee! And of course Sev _would_ have to say some thing to ruin the moment.

"Honey could you go fix us some drinks and pop us some popcorn?"

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**Saturday 27 March**

_"Oh it's you," A young translucent girl who must have been a ghost said when she saw me. "What do you want this time?"_

_I found myself talking, "To ask you how you died."_

_The girl's whole aspect changed at once. She looked as though she had never been asked such a flattering question. _

_"Ooooh, it was dreadful," She said with relish, "It happened right in here. I died in this very stall. I remember it so well. I'd hidden because Olive Hornby was teasing me about my glasses. The door was locked, and I was crying, and then I heard somebody come in. They said something funny. A different language, I think it must have been. Anyway, what really got me was that it was a boy speaking. So I unlocked the door, to tell him to go and use his own toilet, and then…" The girl swelled up as if what she was about to say was what made her the most important thing in the world, "I _died_."_

_I spoke again, this time a noticed however that it was the voice of a prepubescent child not that of an adult, "How?"_

_"No idea," She girl spoke in her obnoxiously high whiny voice trying to lower the volume though to just above a whisper, "I just remember seeing a pair of great, big, yellow eyes. My whole body sort of seized up, and then I was floating away…"_

I felt Severus slowly detach himself from our tangle of limbs and linens. I knew that it was time to rise but somehow I felt as if I deserved to sleep in. After a fight last night that led to drinking and then other things shouldn't be discussed in mixed company, I felt as if I was justified in indulging myself and continuing to sleep. I heard the familiar sounds of the shower being turned on but I simply turned over and curled up in to Severus pillow.

_"Ginny, please wake up," I whispered to my dearest friend's eleven year old self, shaking her. Ginny's head lolled hopelessly from side to side._

_"She won't wake," came a soft voice from behind me._

_I jumped and turned to see who had spoken._

_A tall, black-haired boy was leaning against the nearest pillar, watching. He was strangely blurred around the edges, as though I were looking at him through a misted window. But there was no mistaking him…_

_"Tom…Tom Riddle?"_

_Riddle nodded, not taking his eyes off of my face._

_"What do you mean she won't wake?" I said desperately. She couldn't be…She, "She's not…She's not…"_

_"She's still alive… but only just"_

_I began to hear piano being played in the background? Where was it coming from? As I stared at the figure in front of me I wondered why he a man who haunted the memories of my years at Hogwarts stood here, with a weird misty light around him, not a day older than sixteen. Not a day older from when he opened my eyes to a whole new world when I was just twelve years old._

_"Are you a ghost?"_

_"A memory…"_

_"Do you know where that music is coming from?"_

I turned over to look at the clock on the night stand on my side of the bed. In Bright blue numbers is read 10:47. Sighing I began the agonizing process of waking up. Even if I wanted to go back to sleep I couldn't. Not with Severus in the other room working on his music. Rolling out of bed I quickly slipped in to the pajama pants that lay discarded on the floor from last night. God, I should not have had that last drink! My head was killing me. Oh well, at least I got the D. Walking in to the bathroom I quickly turned on the shower to let the water warm up. I turned on my heel and started to walk toward the living room, grabbing my glasses as I went. There he was my dark angel. Sitting with his back turned away from me, working on his new song, hunched over the keys of his baby grand, banging out the melody of his new work, stopping only to pick up his pencil to write in a few note on the half filled page of manuscript paper. Seeing my opportunity I walked quickly over to him and slid my arms around his waist and kissed the back of his neck.

"Good morning."

Severus simply grunted and kept on playing.

Not getting the attention I felt I deserved, I decided that it was time for some fun.

"From the morning I wake up…"

Severus immediately stopped playing as he heard me start to sing.

"Before I put on my make up…" I giggled. "I say a little prayer for you."

"Harry please stop! I'm trying to work!"

I felt as if he had slapped my across the face. I murmured a quick apology and let my arms slip away from around his chest. Normally, Sev would have laughed and joined me in singing and also start playing along, but this was completely new. I practically ran into the shower. As I scrubbed my hair, I could hear Sev's voice start to sing. I hate him sometimes. Hmm…but oh how I love him the rest of the time. In two weeks we will be in New York City and everything will be better. In two weeks Sean will be through with his audition and I'll have my Sev back. In two weeks he will fall in love with me all over again. Sighing I turned off the water and started to towel off.

A baritone voice rang through the apartment, "hmmm…. I love it when you….hmmm"

Sigh, "Oh Severus why do you torment me so?"

-Later that evening-

I heard Severus still picking away at his tune as I tried to juggle three very large, very full, brown, paper grocery bags, rather unsuccessful I might add, in my attempted to get to my keys. Eventually I gave up and set down two of the brown sacks of food and unlocked and opened the door. I yelled out to my working lover. I couldn't exactly pick them all up again. It was a miracle that I was able to pick all three up the first time.

"Sev, I'm back! Can you help me with these groceries?"

"Coming," he called back.

Leaving a bag for him, I made my way in to the flat and into the kitchen. And I began to put things in their place. Severus joined me only moments later.

"What do you want for dinner?" I asked quietly. I was still mad at him for earlier.

"Why don't we go out?"

I wished we had the money too. Severus had been getting frustrated with me because the studio hadn't been producing as much as it had in the past. In all reality it had been doing better then it had in years past, but all the extra money I made I had been putting toward the trip. Because of the lack of funds in out bank account we had been forced to eat in more. Not that that was a bad thing. I was a very good cook but I knew how Severus felt. It was nice to get out to eat every once in a while, "you know that we can't afford that right now. How about I cook up some potato soup? We haven't had that in a while."

I quickly started to get the pots I needed setting the out on the counter. I then grabbed the bag of potatoes from the pantry. As I began to start to peal the brown spuds I felt a pair of arms slip around my waist, and some lips descend to my neck in a very similar way to what I had done to my working love earlier. "If that's what you want then that is alright with me."

He was chicken. I knew that he wanted to talk to me about the store, but after the fight last night, he was not willing to anger me especially while I had a knife in my hands. The hand that were on my body began grow bolder and started to travel downward.

"Severus stop," ha take that, how do like it?

The hands disappeared and I listened footsteps left the room, "tell me when dinner is ready."

His voice never gave anything away. If I had made my point I would never know. I heard the piano start up again, and so did Severus's singing, "hmmmm…I love it when you sing to me…hmm."

Sing? Oh god! What was Severus singing about? It would be at least a week before I would hear all of the new lyrics, but I know for a fact that Severus would never sing a song about how beautiful his lover's singing voice is. You may not believe me if I tell you but, Severus is a man of emotion. You can tell by his music. What ever his love life is it is always reflected in his work. If he was singing about how well his lover could sing then he wasn't singing about me! Oh my God! I poured the rest of the diced vegetables in to the pot that was sitting on the stove and walked over to where I could see him leaning forward to scribble something on the music resting on the top of the piano. He wouldn't, that boy was underage! Any relationship between teacher and student could lead to not only the loss of a job but it could also lead to criminal charges. But Severus had expressed his interest in me when I was in my final year at Hogwarts, just like Sean. But if Severus was hoping to start a relationship with his student surely he wouldn't be so open about him with me. If he was sleeping with Sean he wouldn't tell me that he was with the boy for five hours after school. But Severus was going with him to that Audition in a few weeks. It would be the perfect opportunity to spend an afternoon together with out having to worry about being at the school. Could it be? Would Sev dare? What am I saying? Of course Sev _would NEVER _commit himself to a relationship that he couldn't be fully involved in. Of course Severus _would NEVER_ cheat on me. Especially not with a student! No I just being crazy, Ginny is always right! He is planning something for me. I know it. And so what if he is singing about how I loves it when I sing. You never know, he just might like my squawking; after all he likes to sing with me all the time. I need to get my mind away from this train of thought. If I don't, my imagination is going to ruin the only thing that's good in my life. Dinner was ready.

I set the table and filled the bowls. "Severus, Soup's on!"

The notes ended suddenly as he pulled himself away from his work. Nothing could make Sev jump like potato soup. His mother used to make it for him all the time when he was a kid. I loved that I knew all those little tid-bits about him. Dinner was silent. I felt as if I needed to do something. I felt as if I had to make things right. After all I was the one you made the most recent attack. As Severus moved to go clean the dishes I stood up and pulled him into a hug. "I'm about earlier; I really just wanted to get dinner on."

"I know," he smiled down at me, "I was the some way this morning."

"I love you."

"I love you too!"

Kissing Severus was like nothing else in the world. Six and a half years after our first kiss and it still felt the same. My stomach disappeared, and my knees went weak. Brilliant colors encompassed all of my vision and the world faded away. My mind and heart cleared themselves of all their worries and replaced them with the all consuming love that I felt for this man. My Dark Angel. As the need for air became too great I stepped back and rested my head on his chest. I knew him. I knew that he loved me. He just had to.

"Come on, we have dishes to do." Of course Sev _would_ think about the dishes after a kiss like that.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So I was super bored today and instead of reading I decided to bang out another chapter. Don't get used to it though. Classes start back up next week and I very well might just be too busy for daily updates. I do promise to update at least once a week! Thanks to those who reviewed. Reviews are welcomed but not mandatory. Flames are not really desired but are welcome. Look for a new chapter tomorrow or the day after. Until then happy reading! 


	3. Just another day at the office

**The Book of Love**

By: Elise Jacobs

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything and am not getting anything out of this except the sick twisted pleasure of making Rowling's characters do things that she never wanted them doing.

**Warning:** This is slash…so if you don't like it DON'T READ IT!

* * *

**Chapter Three**

"**Just another day at the office"**

**Wednesday, March 31****st**

This week sucked so much. I hated that I was stuck catching up on the portraits. I would be completely finished in a few days, but it was exhausting spending the entire day on one piece especially when the subjects are children happily smiling out of the frames. If I had it my way when ever a mother came in and asked for a child's portrait to be made I would go and take photos of my own, and from there I would paint the child doing something natural, like climbing a tree, or playing with a doll. Not the fabricated smiling marionette dolls that their parents insisted upon having me do. Art should be of natural subjects. This was not Art.

My day wasn't helped knowing that Severus was at the school singing, playing piano, and working with students. He makes his job out to be some sort of death sentence, but in all reality it was a really nice job to have. Every morning you come in, sign in, get your messages, go to your classroom, watch as your students come in, teach said students something that they love to do, once a day teach your one class of students who have to get a mandatory elective and after school talk to your students about their future and help them with what ever projects the need help with.

I had once dreamed of being an art teacher. When I was thirteen my studio professor became such a mentor to me that I dreamed of one day being able to help students like he had helped me. That was when my relatives and my godfather had been in a custody battle. The only reason my aunt and uncle didn't just hand me over was the check they got every month. It was a hard time for me. Professor Lupin supplied me with many distractions; he let me stay after school many times to work on my art so that I didn't have to go home to my relatives. He was the only one of my teachers who testified on behalf of my godfather. But in the end the courts thought that it was best that a child of my background was better off with a respectable, middle class, married couple instead of my practically starving, single, musician godfather. It was devastating to me to hear of my confidant, my beloved professor was leaving school because it came out that he was HIV positive. It was absurd the way they just disposed of him. Of course the official reports said that his contract had not been renewed because of a failure to teach, but we all knew it was because of the disease. We wrote back and forth for years, but during my sixth year the letters just stopped. He died in my final year at school. The cause of death was phenomena. He died alone in a hospital with no one there for him. He had no family and the world was cruel. He left me one final letter though. It told me that the world had hope and that I should always try to find it. He also told me that my parents would have been proud of me. It was only then that I realized that he had once known and had been good friends of my parents. His death was almost more traumatic then that of my godfather that had occurred at the end of my fifth year.

Sirius had been killed in a drive by shooting on the way back to his home from the grocery. A struggling musician, he was never able to move away from the sad little flat that he had acquired just after his graduation. It would have been nice to be able to have lived with him. Every single connection that I had left to my parents was gone. Gone in the same way my parents left me when I was just three. Killed in a fatal car crash that was caused by a drunk driver, my parents left me a trust fund that paid for my schooling and after my gradation, my shop. Sometimes I felt that if there was a God that he must have hated me, but then I remember that I was blessed to have Severus.

I looked up as I heard the bell at the door ring. From my perch in the loft I had a clear view of the door. It allowed me to see and communicate with customers whenever they did come into the shop. I had been hoping for a shopper, but the woman in question, who looked a great deal like the many mothers to come to me in the way that she was dressed, would most likely not purchase anything right off. She would probably hand me a picture and say, oh please sir could you paint my dear Marty? Tea length dress, pearls, and a pair of cute shoes that matched her hand bag, she was the epitome of my usual customers.

Setting down my pallet and brush I stood up and started down the stairs, undoubtedly I was going to have a new smiling marionette doll to add to my stack by the end of this meeting, "Good morning, can I help you with something?"

The blond woman, who had been examining one of my paintings, a rather somber water color of crying man with a monochromatic color scheme of blue, nearly jumped out of her skin, "Oh um, Hi, I was just looking for, um... my…my.. er.. Husband wanted me to redecorate the…um ..Dining room and some of the women from the book club gave me your card."

She was a lot younger then I had expected her to be, a relative newly wed compared to the normal mothers, "Well if you tell me what you are looking for maybe I can help."

"That really isn't necessary if you're working… I don't….well, I was just going to look around." She was nervous. She had probably never been in an art store a day in her life. She looked uncomfortable in the outfit, it was ridicules really. She probably met some older business man fell in love and got married and in turn moved up from a lower class where she only had ever seen screen print copies or poster forms of fine art and expected to get some low paying job to make ends meet, to a whole new world of book clubs, garden parties, and redecorating.

"Well if you need me, I'll be just up there," I turned and pointed at my easel, "Don't hesitate to call me. I really don't mind coming down to help."

As I stepped on to the third step of the stairs she called out to me, "My husband is a big fan of fantasy work."

Confused I turned.

"You know magic, elves, faeries, dragons. I am too actually. It's funny really; we met at a coffee shop. We were reading the same book. He once told me that, as a child if he could have been anything in the world, he would have been a mage warrior saving the world one dragon at a time. Heck when I was little I used to pick up sticks in the back yard and pretend that were magic wands. It's stupid, I know. But I don't suppose you have anything like that, do you." It was more of a hopeful question then a statement. She flashed me a nervous smile, as she waited for me to tell her to leave and look else where.

In my attempt to set her more at ease I looked down sheepishly. In my experience if I acted as if I were a child who got their hand caught in a cookie jar she wouldn't feel so foolish for her question, "well I have a few things in the back. Come with me."

I led her to my office and asked her to take a seat. I walked over to my wall of shelves and pulled out a stepping stool that I had to reach my upper most shelves. It was where I kept the more fantastical of my work. I carefully pulled down the canvases and the stack of papers that I had hidden away, knowing that very few people in this town were interested in work that was based on the dreams of a twenty three year old homosexual orphan. I laid them out for the young woman to see and I watched as her eyes lit up.

"They're beautiful."

They were all from my dreams. It was odd really; all of the people in them were based on real people from my life. My friends' and old classmates' faces scattered the many canvases in situations that could most kindly be described as fantasy.

"What do you call that one with the dragon?" The blond looked at me with excitement in her eyes.

"Battle with the Hungarian Horntail." I had had that dream months ago. I had found myself in a large arena that resembled what I imagine a medieval quarry looked like. Large jagged rocks and boulders blocked me from an amazing dragon which I (my dream self) had called the Hungarian Horntail. The image had stuck with me just long enough to transfer it to canvas.

"What about this one," the young woman asked quickly.

"That one, oh.. uh, Mistake with Potions." It was a picture of my best friend from Hogwarts, Ron, Ginny's older brother, and I looking at Hermione, my best friend from the Drama branch of school, who had turned in to a strange hybrid of cat and girl. The dreams were so real at times. The sights, sounds, and even the smells were just so fantastic. It was almost as if they were real events happening every night just before I woke.

"What about this one?" The woman asked pointing at a picture I had of a little blue human like creature with wings sitting sadly on a wooden swing looking at her feet in a gold bird cage.

"I never named it. It's not a faerie, think I called it a Doxie at one point. Most of these images come from dreams but this one was more of a variation from a dream where these little blue winged creatures attacked class of young students." People who loved the many fantasy worlds I found were some of the most interesting and accepting people in the world. I guess that is why I didn't feel worried about mentioning the fact that all these images came to me in the form of vivid dreams.

"You know these are amazing, especially this one of the man who's Werewolf."

I had painted that one years ago, that night the dreams had leaned more towards the nightmare variation. The man who played the role as my subject was Professor Lupin, we had been walking had talking when all of the sudden he changed into a werewolf. The painting was of my old professor looking out from the frame with the werewolf standing in front of the moon in the background. I imagine lycanthropy must be a lot like HIV. A condition transferred by a virus of the blood that had no cure, people run away in fear because of a misunderstanding of how the condition in contracted and transferred.

"Why do you not have these on display?" She asked.

"Oh I don't know, there are a lot of things back that I don't show. I guess the reason what these aren't out is because there really isn't much of a market for this kind of stuff." She scared my when she started laughing hysterically.

"I'm sorry, oh, hahaha, oh goodness me,"

Why was that so funny, there really wasn't much of a market for these types of paintings, "What's so funny?"

"You, no market, honestly."

"Well at least not in this town."

"You might be right there but there is a _huge_ market out there. You just have to know where to find it."

I just stared at her. What was she talking about?

"Think about it. If there was no market for fantasy, why is there such a large section of fantasy books in the library? Why are there so many high budget films made in the genre, if it has no audience? Honestly, no market? Ha! Are any of these for sale?"

I had never thought about it before. I wonder how many people would actually like this stuff, "Well I never really considered ever selling these. Usually for oil paintings of these sizes I would sell for any where between two and six-fifty, without frames. The water colors and sketches over there I would _have_ to frame for you and I would sell those depending on the size of the work, the size of the matting, and then the material used in the frame. The finished price can be anywhere between three-fifty to a thousand. I know it is a large price but I'm sure you understand."

"A thousand?"

"Well that is the most I have ever charged, and it came from a very detailed commissioned piece that the customer wanted done in water color with an eight and a half inch mat and they insisted on a very large, detailed wood frame. I had to hire out to a framer to get that one finished. Most of these won't exceed six hundred."

"Well that sounds reasonable."

"I think I should get back to my painting, I'm nearly finished. You may continue to look though these. If you need me just yell at me."

"Alright,"

As I walked out of the room my mind lingered on what she had said, there is a huge market if you knew where to look. The only person I had ever known to work seriously with fantasy was Luna. I hadn't talked to her in years. Last I had heard she has opened up shop on the outskirts London somewhere. I think I might have her number somewhere.

I hate this painting. Stupid perfect blond curls, stupid perfectly shaped rosy cheeks, stupid perfect blue eyes; nobody's child was that perfect. The picture just had to be photo shopped. There was no way in hell that this kid was that beautiful. I hate this. At least I'm almost done. If I had to work on this kid for more than a day then I think that I might just chuck it down the stairs.

"Excuse me, Sir,"

Jumping at the chance to have another extended break I walked down stairs to talk to the blond woman who was examining my dreamscapes.

"Have you made a decision?"

"Yes sir, I think I would like to purchase this one. I think that I would like to have it framed else where though. Is that alright?"

It was an oil based paint on canvas of a teenager pointing a wooden stick and yelling with tears streaming down his face. There was shelving units in the background holding objects that were nearly impossible to make out. A gold glow seemed to surround him.

"Of course it is. It's a 20" by 16" in oil, so that will be five-fifty." I always hated this part, I felt like it was stealing from them. Five-fifty for something that I just threw on to paper, it seemed like I steal. It paid the bills, though.

She immediately pulled out her check book and started writing, "I'll pay seven hundred!"

I was shocked. Everyone always offered less. I couldn't accept that much for it, "No! Please that is really not necessary!"

"No I insist! Alfred gave me seven hundred for a new painting and in intend on spending it. You charge extra for commissioned work, don't you?"

"Yes but…"

"But nothing, just pretend that I had told you to make it for me. And that you went up stairs and finished it in an hour."

Her genuine smile was what shocked me the most. It was as if she knew that I needed the money right now. That seven hundred meant that I only had to sell one more painting and I would have the paid off the trip and that I could actually deposited some money in to mine and Sev's joint account for the first time in months.

As she tore out the check and handed to me all I could think to say was, "Thank You," some how the words didn't seem to be enough.

"No thank you Mr. Potter." I shook her hand and picked up the painting to go wrap it up for transport. In the storage room I placed it in the center if a table where I had large sheets of brown packing paper draped across. Was there really a market for such works? Folding the edges together I reached over for a small piece of tape. After the main seam was secured I grabbed some twine and began the quick process of tying up the rest of the package. It was some thing that I had always liked to do for my customers. There was nothing that made me happier when I was small then when Sirius would show up with a package wrapped in brown paper that was all tied up with twine. It made me feel as if it was something at was so special that it need to be sent though the mail even if it had just been wrapped up at the store. It was something I felt added just that much more to the purchase.

When I walked out to hand the blond her package I was very surprised to see another woman standing in the room looking at one of the paintings that was on the far wall. I didn't even hear the door ring. "Thank you again and I hope that your husband likes the piece."

"I'm sure he will."

I didn't wait to watch her leave I quickly walked over to my hopefully second customer. "Hello, I'm Harry. How can I help you today?"

As the woman turned I was startled to look upon the scowling face of my _dear_ old Aunt Petunia.

"No need to niceties boy. I'm here to drop off some things."

I opened my mouth to ask her what but before I could say anything she cut me off.

"There in the back seat of the car. You probably haven't heard but Dudley is getting married, and Vernon and I have decided that we are going to give him the house,"

I'm surprised that the whale found someone to have him.

"While I was cleaning out the attic I found a bunch of old paintings that belonged to your mother had given to me about a year before she died. Vernon wanted to sell them but I thought that seeing as she was your mother that I should give them to you to dispose of. I think that she would have wanted it that way."

She was giving me my mother's paintings? Was it even possible that my Aunt was capable of doing something so human?

"Don't just stand there! As you can see, my car is illegally parked!"

Of course she would do some thing like that. I hurried out to the curb where my aunt had left her car running and quickly began the process of pulling the seven framed pieces out. I hurried as much as I could; it looked as if it was going to start raining any second. As I was getting the last one out, Petunia quickly climbed back into the driver's seat and put on her seat belt, she obviously didn't want anyone she knew to see her in front of my store, typical. Once I closed the door she quickly zoomed off.

"Thanks, Aunt Petunia!" I felt as if some thanks out to be given. After all she didn't have to give them to me. They were hers after all. I picked up the last large piece that was resting against my leg and carried it inside. I quickly spread them all out leaning them against my display wall. It was amazing. Never had I dreamed that any of my mother's work would ever come in to my possession. The few pieces that I even knew existed were in some old lady's privet collection, and she refused my offer when I had attempted to acquire them. When I went to school I discovered that my mother was one of the most talented water color artists in the country. The only pictures I had ever seen of her work had been in the archives at Hogwarts. They had millions of slides in storage in the art department, a record of each student's senior portfolio. I had never imagined that I would ever see let along get my hands on some of her later work. But here it was a gift from the woman who was paid to raise me. Four were of flowers, two of landscapes, and the last was the one that couldn't tear my eyes away from. It was a painting of a dirt road and walking down it was a tall man with dark messy hair and a short slender woman with flowing red hair. Between them they each held on to the hand of a dark, messy haired toddler in overall shorts who was looking at the way his feet fell on the ground as he toddled along with the help of his parents. Their back were to the viewer but you could just see the side of the father's face has he looked down at his son, and the beginnings of the mother's nose could be see though her flowing auburn locks. I had many pictures of my parents, a great deal of them were pictures with me but nothing like this. Most of our pictures as a family unit were all poses. And there were very few of me with out both parents. Nothing genuine or candid, my mother had left in the care of her sister the one thing that I always yearned for. It was a genuine memory. In all reality I don't think I have a single true memory of my parents. Whether or not it was painted from a picture or from imagination and memory the end result was still the same. A piece of art that showed the peace and love that a family represents, and the family in the painting was mine.

After about an hour of staring I heard the phone ring.

"Art by Potter, how can I help you?"

"Where are you? You were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago."

"Oh Sev, I'm sorry I just got really caught up with something. Let me lock up I'll be right there."

"I'll just walk over to the shop."

I looked out the window and saw the sky pouring down, "In this weather? No I'll hurry, just stay at the school."

"I must have told you at least fifteen this morning that the school was closing early for fumigation!"

"I know and I'm sorry, I'll leave right now."

"Don't you have paints to clean up?

"I was using some old brushed today, and I have already covered my paints. I have some paintings that need to be put up.

Grunt,

"But I can come in early tomorrow. I'm leaving right now."

How could I be so stupid! Keys, keys, where are my keys? Shuffling all the papers that were laid out on my desk from earlier, I grabbed the key ring that was hidden at the very bottom. Grabbing my coat from the hook on the wall I ran to the light switches, running into a chair in the process. How could I have forgotten? Slamming and locking the door. I ran as fast as I could to the back lot where my car was parked. It was at times like these that I wished I hadn't closed off the back entrance to the shop. Oh well no time for that now. The car turned on, and the radio started blaring. I quickly turned it down and threw the car into drive. Four minutes later I pulled up to the front of the school as close as I could to where a very disgruntled Severus Snape was impatiently waiting. Reaching over I opened the door for him.

"I'm so, _so_ sorry! I just don't know how forgot!"

Severus slammed the door, and proceeded not to look at me.

"I know that I f-ed up." I said, putting the car back in to drive. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

Silence.

Knowing that talking wasn't going to help matters I decided to apologize, not make any excuses, and to simply shut up. "I'm sorry."

We drove in complete silence for most of the trip home. I apologized, the ball was in his court now. When were about a minute away from our apartment complex he decided to break the silence. "So how was your day?"

Sighing I relief I spoke, "just another day at the office. How 'bout you?"

"Well the seventh year spring musical is coming up; this year we are doing Chicago!, so I have been holding all day auditions with Vector from the drama department. I think Mary Finch-Flechley is going to be our Roxie, but we are having a bit of trouble with casting Velma. Oh and Sean has landed the role of Billy Flynn."

"That's great," that's just what I need Sean freaking' Malloy in the lead role of a show that Severus has to run under contract! I feel like Jan Brady, Sean, Sean, Sean, it's always Sean. Oh well, I know what will make him think of me, "Hey I don't really feel like cooking tonight, so do you want go to Rosmerta's place?"

Rosmerta's Pub was the place where Severus and I had had our first date, our first kiss, and it was the place where he officially asked me to move in with him. If any place in the world would get that man to think of me and only me it was Rosmerta's.

Pulling up to a stop sign, I looked over at the passenger seat, and Severus was looking at me with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"If that is what you want then of course."

* * *

**Author's note**: I don't really have much to say…you all know that reviews are appreciated, and I say thank you to those of you who have already! Happy reading! 


	4. Sean Freaking Malloy

**The Book of Love**

By: Elise Jacobs

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything and am not getting anything out of this except the sick twisted pleasure of making Rowling's characters do things that she never wanted them doing.

**Warning:** This is slash…so if you don't like it DON'T READ IT!

* * *

**Chapter Three**

"**Sean Freaking Malloy"**

**Thursday, April 1st**

"Are you ready yet?"

"Almost, I can't find my wallet!" I screamed from the bedroom.

"Can you remember where you last had it?"

"Oh yeah, now because you said that I suddenly remember that I left it with the fuzzy dragon that tried to eat me last night! Are you freaking kidding me? Can I remember where I last had it? What a stupid question, if I knew that then it wouldn't be lost then in the first place, would it."

Stupid idiot, who does he think I am? Do you remember where you last had it? God he can be such an ass.

"Did you look in the pocket of the pants you were wearing last night?"

Ugh…"Yes dear, that is typically the first place someone looks, a-ha found it!"

"Thank God! Where was it?"

"Under the dresser," a lie of course, I wasn't about to tell him that it was indeed in the back pocket of the jeans I wore yesterday. He would never let me live it down. Severus already had the keys and was waiting with the door open for me to join him.

"How did it get there?" He asked as he turned and locked the dead bolt.

"I don't know might have something to do with the fact that you threw half of my clothes across the room last night." Down the stairs we went. This was the customary morning banter that always followed a 'Wet Wednesday.' It was fun really and quite necessary. One grouchy Thursday morning about three years ago, we tried to have just another normal morning and ended up not speaking to each other for four days. Ever since then if we managed to have a mid week mini party, the morning after was always very similar to this one.

Severus unlocked the car and tossed his bag in the back, "They were keeping me from something that I desperately wanted."

"They're always keeping you from something that you desperately want when your Drunk!" the car started and we were off. "If you had been patient Mr. I've-got-to-have-you-right-now-or-I'm-gonna-die then we wouldn't have had this problem now would we?"

"Of course, blame it all on me. Seat belt please. If I recall correctly, you were the one to throw that particular article of clothing last night."

"You can't possibly remember correctly because you, my dear, were piss ass drunk!"

"That wasn't my fault! You were the one who kept ordering me drinks."

"Well you're the teacher! You should have remembered you had class the next day. Oh darling please slow down."

"The speed limit here is forty-five. You shouldn't have taken advantage of my affinity for Guinness."

"It was you who ordered the bottomless pint not me. Don't forget the STOP SIGN!"

Severus slowed very quickly to a stop letting two cars go and the proceeded to pull out at an agonizingly slow pace. "I know how to drive, so can you please stop policing me!"

"Well if you drove correctly then I wouldn't have to police you." I said matter-of-fact-ly.

"Well now the conversation is pointless because we're here!" As Severus pulled into an empty spot I smiled. This was the best morning I think we have had in weeks. Getting out of the car I made sure to wave at McGonagall, professor of art history and head of the art department. It had been the first morning-after argument that we had had in about two months. Sure it was a bit rusty but it was still one of the best mornings in weeks. After all, neither of us was leaving ready to push the other one in front of an on coming train. Severus handed me the keys and kissed me quickly on the forehead.

I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek that he presented for me, "Have nice day at work, honey!"

"Don't get in to too much trouble at the shop. See you at Five then?"

I watched as he started to walk away from me, not yet moving toward my car door, "I need to pick you up?"

"If you don't mind. Actually can you possibly get me at Six, I told Sean I would work with him on his lyrical piece this afternoon because we haven't had the time in class."

_Sean_! Of course could it have been anything else, "Yeah, sure! See you then."

After shooting a quick smile at Sprout, the head of the dance department, I climbed in to the car and drove off. Last night I had succeeded in my quest to turn my love's attention away from _Sean,_ but only with the help oh my dear friend Mr. Al Cohol. Not the best option but effective none the less. After placing the car in park I turned to the back seat where I picked up the brown paper bag that I had brought from home containing a new set of brushes and a rather large bottle of Mod Podge. I had recently run out of the wonderfully seventies white goop, and I had yet to make an order for a new case. So, I brought my house supply with the hope of starting on a new project of decorating a very old POS chair that I had laying around that kept getting in the way. I figure that if it going to be in the way might as well make it look artsy! Looking in however I realized that I had the wrong bag. This was Sev's lunch. I pack one for him every morning while he is in the shower. I know I should bring to him, but it was April's fool's day after all. I could just keep it and eat it myself forcing Severus to have to eat my Mod Podge or the dreaded Sausage of Death! Hogwarts may have had the best fine arts programs in the area but it certainly didn't have the best nutrition plan to add to their list of accomplishments. Dobby, the head cook, had an affinity for polish sausage. It was the only thing that was ever on the menu. Dumbledore had been battling the man for years to get him serve something else but nothing seemed to make him change. All the kids pretty much had their parent pack their lunches. It was cute to watch all the students walk in with their lunch bags, sacs, and boxes. The first years were the cutest of all. All of them still used the unaltered bright colored ones that they had used in primary school. After the first year, if the box survived, it usually under went a metamorphosis that involved markers, paint, and stickers. I think I still had mine stuffed away somewhere. One side was an ode to Weezer, my favorite band at the time of creation. And the other side was completely dedicated to my "greatest love." I had tried to scrape his name off but to no avail. The letters T-O-M were permanently etched into its surface. I hated my aunt for refusing to buy me a new one. That box lived as a daily reminder of my stupidity until it disappeared from view when I moved in with Severus. I had used that box every year of school except one. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had decided to live in dormitories, and convinced my aunt that it would cost the same as keeping me at home to send me across town to board at Hogwarts Dormitories. It was my Fourth year and I thought I was a God. I was assigned to a room with best friend Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville. I lost about twelve pounds that year because of the number of meals I skipped. If it weren't for Mrs. Weasley's care packages and my dates with Tom I think I just might have starved. I still get sick thinking about having to eat Dobby's "gourmet" Sausage creations. Hm.. It would be just too cruel to make him suffer like that, even if it was April Fool's.

I turned the car back on deciding that nobody should have to do without their sac lunch if it meant that they had to eat the Sausage of Death. I had about thirty minutes until class started, plenty of time. Besides, I liked returning to the halls of my Alma Mater. It always sent me back. Sometimes that was a good thing and other times a bad one but the outcome somehow was always enjoyable. Even if it was in the sense that I was finally free of that place. Pulling back in to the student parking lot, I smiled at all the students who were running around talking to each other. After locking the car and taking a deep breath I started my march toward my beloved school. It was all still the exact same as it had been when I left those six years ago, even the students. My favorites were the ones who felt as if having blue and pink hair and wearing clothes that didn't fit made them in to non conformists. Oh the novelty of youth. There were several choral practice rooms in the school. All of them were located on the bottom floor, back corner. The location of the music wing was determined by the simple fact of room structure. All of the rooms on the bottom floor, even if prone to flooding, had the best acoustics. When I opened the door to the wing, I was welcomed with the sight of dozens of kids of varying shapes and sizes. Some of them were making their way to instrument storage rooms carrying cases ranging from the size of a pencil case to the size of small human adult, but most of them were just mingling about waiting for class to begin. I quickly navigated the hall to find room 1028, Advanced Vocal Studies. Walking in I smiled at the three students that were sorting music in the back right hand corner, and proceeded to the left corner of the room where Severus' office was located. The door was closed, which was unusual because I knew that department code mandated that all professors be available to students for thirty minutes before and after school. Looking around I noticed that a wall blocked the view of the other students in the room, so I leaned my head against the wood, maybe I could hear something. And I did.

"What's gonna happen if I mess up? I really don't want to go to Australia with my dad. I don't." uhg…it was _Sean. _Oh boo freaking hoo cry me a river, my Daddy is going to take me half way around the world. Whoopdy do at least you have parents! I could only be so lucky to have you disappear to the outback you home wrecker.

"You won't have to, not if I have anything to say about it." You don't have any say Severus Algernon Snape. The only thing you have any say over is his final grade. "Everything is going to be fine. You have nothing to worry about, and I'll be there with you. If by some chance you do some how manage botch it, there are a few auditions in New York City over the summer. You'll have another shot."

"I guess you're right. So, how are things with the Mrs.?" The Mrs.?! There had better be a married man in there with the two of them.

"Well you know. As good as they can be. I just can't seem to make him happy. If I'm working and distracted he gets mad, if I show an interest he gets angry and tells me to go away. If I tell him what I'm doing and try to include him he forgets, if I just let him be and go about my business he freaks the hell out." UGH! You Prick. That is not true. You know damn well that you started all of those fights. Well.. _most_ of them. But that is beside the point! How dare you talk about our personal lives with a student?

"You know Severus," _Severus?!_ You are on a first name basis? "You don't need put up with that. You deserve better." You, _young man,_ don't know what he needs, and _you_, my, oh so loose lipped professor, deserve to get more then an ear full from me.

That's it I'm not listening to this anymore. I walked away from the office in a huff. I was about to make it to the door when one of the music sorters, called out to me.

"He's there Sir. He is just with Sean Malloy at the moment, talking about his up coming Juilliard audition."

Sean Freaking Malloy! Taking a deep breath I spoke to the nosy student, "Oh well, when I was a student here even if a professor was talking to a student he or she always kept his or her door open. I had just assumed that he had been detained by Professor Dumbledore, or something along those lines."

Quickly I turned on my heel and walked back to the office and rapped on the door. "Just a moment!"

Oh My GOD. The nerve. They were probably busy trying to make themselves decent. I tried to maintain my composure. It just would not do to spit in Severus' face in the presence of his students and no matter how mad I was, and it was not an intelligent idea to attack Sean Freaking Malloy no matter how much he deserved it.

As the door opened I saw Severus working on his computer while _Sean_ sat in the seat across from him on the other side of his desk. I had met the little shit just this past winter at one of Severus many concerts that he made me attend, and he was just like I remembered him: tan, well muscled, just a bit taller then me. (not that that was saying much) But unlike before he made me want to spit fire.

Severus didn't even bother to look up he just barked, "What"

Taking a deep breath I smiled I would not let him know what I had heard. "Darling, you took my bag by mistake."

_Sean_ was looking at me with shock clearly present in his face. He had clearly not recognized me.

Severus looked up at me and, to my delight, smiled. His entire demeanor changed. I could feel Sean's eyes boring in to my skin. "I hadn't even noticed."

Walking over to him, behind his desk (ha! take that Sean Malloy you're not allowed on this side now are ya!) I gently set the bag beside his monitor, as he bent over in his chair to look for mine. God, that was a good angle for him. When he sat back up he sent a significant look at the boy sitting across from him. I knew that look. Roughly translated it meant _get the hell out_! It should have comforted me that he was telling the great and wonderful Sean to leave, but the look seamed to have the opposite effect on my nerves. Severus had succeeded though, the boy quickly hurried from the office closing the door behind him, leaving me alone with my lover of five years. I smiled sweetly down at him. Sure I was mad but he did make the boy leave. And after all he _was_ mine, my dark angel.

"Hello love." He smiled up at me from his seat but then he surprised me by standing up quickly and throwing his arms around my waist pulling me close and kissing me. Oh we should _not_ be doing this. Not here not now. Not with classes about to start. I had always wondered in school if my professors went home and got it on every night. If I had known that they kissed their lovers like this in the vary offices that I had so often entered to discuss test grades, I would have lived my youth stained a perpetual shade of light pink.

The bell that haunted my dreams of years past ended this perfect dream all too soon. Severus pulled away from me, smiled and whispered, "Thanks for bringing me my lunch."

"Well Professor Snape, if that is the reward for the return of lost or forgotten items, and then I think that you're just going to have to start losing or forgetting your belongings more often." I bit my lip. How was it possible that a person could have such control over my emotions? I turned and picked up my paper bag and opened it to make sure that it was mine. The bright orange and pink lettering of my Mod Podge bottle smiled up at me. Yep it was mine.

As I was about to reach the handle two arms grabbed hold of me from behind. "This period is only an hour, and next period is my planning, if you stay I'll make it worth your while!"

Two lips descended upon the skin just behind my ear and I melted. I know I should have been at the shop working on the marionette doll portraits, but oh that mouth! "Alright I'll stay."

The lips quickly disappeared and the arms escorted me to the seat in front of the computer. "Stay here and keep yourself amused or come out and listen to rehearsal. It is your choice."

The second bell rang shrilly signaling the start of the academic hour. Almost immediately then someone struck a C and began playing a warm up exercise. Boys' voices joined in and Severus started to head for the door, with me on his heels. Of course I wouldn't pass up the chance to torment Sean with my presence.

I quickly grabbed one of the few chairs in the room and sat down. The Choir was filled with boys that appeared to be sixteen or seventeen. All of them in matching blue vests with Hogwarts music seal on the left breast. The faculty of Hogwarts had never been real sticklers for the dress code, so all of the boys had a variation of what they thought a white button down implied. A few in the front had popped collars and a group in the back who all had earrings in various places other than their ears had their ties on the outside of their too small sweater vests. There were even a few scattered about who had very long unwashed hair and appeared to have tie died their "white" button downs. But unlike the other teens Sean, who was standing front row center was wearing a pristine white shirt and his only faults were to stylishly roll up the ends of his sleeves and let the tale of this shirt hang out un-tucked below his blue sweater vest.

As the warm up routine was completed the young man who had been playing quickly found his place in the back row.

Severus moved to take stand behind the grand piano. "Take out _The Prayer of the Children _please. We'll do a complete run through"

Black folders were quickly opened and music was retrieved. Several students though opting not to use the sheet music turned and starting whispering to friends, _Sean, _I noticed was among those.

"Does it say anywhere on you music to talk amongst yourselves. We'll start from the beginning."

I watched as Sev bent over slightly to play the first note. He silently conducted four beats and half of the boys began to sing.

"Can you hear the prayer of the children

on bended knee, in the shadow of an unknown room?

Empty eyes with no more tears to cry,

turning heavenward toward the light.

Crying Jesus help me to see the morning light of one more day,

but if I should die before I wake,

I pray my soul to take.

Can you feel the hearts of the children

aching for home, for something of their very own?

Reaching hands with nothing to hold on to,

but hope for a better day, a better day.

Crying Jesus help me to feel the love again in my own land,

but if unknown roads lead away from home,

give me loving arms, away from harm."

I listened in aw as the boys began to sing using no words. I knew that in swing that this would be called scat if the sounds were made in imitation of certain instruments. I had learned that from the man who was leading them in my last year at this institution. But he never taught me what to call this. the only way I knew how to describe what they were doing was to say that it was beautiful.

"Can you hear the voice of the children

softly pleading for silence in their shattered world?

Angry guns preach a gospel full of hate,

blood of the innocent on their hands.

Crying Jesus help me to feel the sun again upon my face.

For when darkness clears, I know you're near,

bringing peace again.

Da-li cu-je te sve dje-cje mol-it-ve?

Can you hear the prayer of the children".(1)

"Very good! Mikale, try not to go in to your head voice and sing nasaly during the Croatian part, I know you speak Croatian fluently but try to focus on the shape of the vowels." A boy in the back row simply nodded and pulled out a pencil to mark his part.

"Sean, we know that you can sing, we don't need you to prove it to us by trying to sing over the rest of the group."

I had to stop breathing in my attempt not to laugh at the comment. Sean turned bright red and started stammering, "I'm sorry sir."

"Don't apologize just fix it. That is the last thing we need one kid showboating and ruining an entire piece."

"But I wasn't showboating!" ooh, I knew very well that that was not the correct choice in actions on Sean's part.

Severus stopped writing and set his pencil down loudly and glared at the boy in the front row. The class which had had some movement and quiet chatter up until this moment now stood deadly silent in fear of their professor. "Who is the teacher?"

After a moment of scared silence Sean spoke up, "You are."

"And who is the student?"

"I-I am, sir." He replied more promptly this time.

"Then we have an understanding, I, as the teacher, say that you were indeed showboating and it will not happen again. Is that clear?"

"Yes Sir."

A sigh in the room brought everyone out of their stupor and Severus began to flip through papers, "alright I would like you to pull out the American Spirituals, we will work on those for the remainder of the period."

Part of me wanted to jump and laugh at Sean's misfortune but the other part of me wondered if it was all an act. He had spoken so freely with Sean earlier in his office behind closed doors, and the class seemed beyond shocked when he reprimanded the boy. It seemed a bit fishy. Severus began working with one group of the boys on something or another and he sat down at the piano to bang out the line of music that they were having trouble getting. That was when I made eye contact with him, the boy treating everything I had and I found hostility there. It was almost like he was blaming me for the way that Severus had treated him. I knew Severus must have been right about Sean over singing the group; he wasn't one to give false praise or criticism. Sean had been trying to intimidate me, just like he had in the office. Who did this boy think he was, thinking that he could steal my Dark Angel away from me?

The eye contact was broken as Sev called the group's attention to page 7 of some piece call Ride the Chariot. I couldn't take it anymore I had to get away from those piercing blue eyes. I stood up from my seat and quietly walked in to Severus' office and sat down in front of the computer quickly opening up a game of solitaire. I would not let myself think about that boy. It was what he wanted me to do. Severus would never do anything a student. I knew that from first hand experience. When I was in his class all those years ago he treated like every other snot nosed student who needed a music credit to graduate, and out side of class we had only ever been friends. That year was hard on me, what with the whole Tom fiasco and then Remus. My friends just made me feel like an idiot, telling me that I should just get over Tom, and that I shouldn't let the death of a professor who I had had years ago affect me. That was when I began to distance myself from Ron and Hermione. Ginny was there, but it was always hard to talk to her about things that pertained to Tom. Severus had been the friend that I needed. I was able to talk to him about everything. He had had Tom as a student and knew all about how the bastard operated. I could tell him anything and he just seemed to get it. I realized my feelings around March of that year and in late April I made how I felt known to my professor. He told me that even if he felt the same way nothing could come of it until I had graduated and even then it would still be a very bad idea. Knowing Severus the way I do now, I know that he would never have told me that if he didn't feel the same way. After the commencement ceremony at the end of the year I found my Music Appreciation teacher in the crowds and nothing happened. I had dreamed that he would grab my hand and we would ride off in to the sunset. But I was still trying to get over Tom and he knew that. He gave me a sad smiled and told me congratulations and that my work would be missed. And that was it. He was gone. I moved out of my Aunt's and into the store days after. And I did my best to forget about him. We ran in to each other on the street that next winter. I mean we literally ran into each other. I was out for an afternoon run and he had been walking around a corner and we crashed into one another not even a block away from my shop and home. So naturally, I invited him back so that I could get him a band-aid for the cut on his hand that I had inflicted. After tea and a four hour conversation about nothing, He and I went on our first date to Rosmerta's. Severus would never do anything to risk his job and Dumbledore's respect, including dating a student.

'_You know Severus, you don't need put up with that. You deserve better.'_ Severus and I never had that kind of discussion when I was a student though. And the only time I ever spoke his first name to him was when I told him how I felt. And even then I'm not so sure I even actually said it because we used to go through entire conversations with out using names. Somehow when you throw the word professor in to a conversation, it immediately adds an additional layer of complication. '_You deserve better'_ what he should have said if he wanted to make his point any more obvious was _'you deserve me.'_ Could Severus really do something like that to me could he actually have an a….

I couldn't let that little prick get to me. He is just trying to scare me off, so that he can come waltzing in a take my place. I won't insult Sev by even thinking the A word. He wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't! On to lighter things, I need a prank. Have to get him good this year. After thinking for a moment looking around the office my eyes landed on the brown paper bag that was sitting on the desk by the monitor. Hehehe. I quickly ran over to where I had set my own brown bag earlier. Sure it was simple prank but it would work!

The bell rang about fifteen minutes later and I heard Severus bark at his students that there were Chicago! Auditions still going on for other minor roles and spots in chorus line and that auditions were after school in the Black Box Theater. Knowing that he was going to come in to his office in just a few moments I closed my game of solitaire and waited. He didn't disappoint.

"So professor? You said that you would make this worth my while?"

He looked down at me where I was sitting in his desk chair, reached down and grabbed my hands and then proceeded to pull me up out of the comfy rolly chair.

"Do you really need to ask?" and then he kissed me and I forgot all about the world and Sean Freaking Malloy.

* * *

**Author's Note**: (1) I in no way shape of form own that beautiful piece of choral work. _"Prayer of the Children was written by __Kurt Bestor lived in the former country of Yugoslavia. Bestor learned to love the people of Croatia, Serbia, and Bosnia & Herzegovina. When the devastating civil war broke out there; he struggled with just what to do. There was no financial contribution to be made or opportunity to fight alongside his friends. Besides - which side could he choose to be allied with? He loves them all equally. In a moment of frustration, Bestor sat at his keyboard and started humming a simple plaintive melody and with it penned the words, "Can you hear the prayer of the children?" Then he sang it in a concert. The response was overwhelming. At the end of the performance, the deafening silence followed by thunderous applause, convinced the composer/performer that he would never perform again without including this special anthem."_ Excerpt from SHS Mixed Choir Winter Production. My senior year winter concerts were where my own advanced choir performed this piece for our school, family, and loved ones. If you have never heard it I encourage you to take a moment to go to ( **http :// www . poofcat .com / child prayer . html** ) (remove the spaces) this is a very good recording of the very arrangement Severus' choir would have been singing. Hope you all enjoyed taking a peek into Severus' work day for a change. Reviews are very welcome! Thanks to you guys who have added to my review pot! I really appreciate the comments! So until next time, Happy Readings! 


	5. Paint Stained Finger Nails

The Book of Love

**The Book of Love**

By: Elise Jacobs

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything and am not getting anything out of this except the sick twisted pleasure of making Rowling's characters do things that she never wanted them doing.

**THANKS! **to all of you who reviewed I would like to say thank you. I wanted to keep writing but life got a bit difficult. Hopefully I will be able to get a bit more done now that summer is starting up again. Thanks to all of you for reading and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

**Warning:** This is slash…so if you don't like it DON'T READ IT! This Chapter is only partially proofed…..I'll finish it this weekend I have a Dif EQ test tomorrow and it is very late.

**Chapter Five**

**Thursday, April 1st**

"_Do you really need to ask?" and then he kissed me and I forgot all about the world and Sean Freaking Malloy_.

As I reached up to begin unbuttoning Severus' shirt we were interrupted by the ringing of a phone. Severus quickly turned and grabbed it. Sighing I sat down on the corner of the seat.

"Why, hello Mrs. Hickman. Yes Bobby is doing exceedingly well."

I smiled at him. He quirked a corner of his mouth at me and reached over and grabbed a hold of my hips forcing me to slide in front of him where he carefully started to unbutton my shirt from the bottom up, whilst holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder. I giggled quietly as he began to lick my belly button.

"Yes I do think that he could be a great singer but I'm afraid that with boys you can not really tell until their voices change…"

When I was taking his class I had dreamed of one day being shagged on top of his desk but never in my life had I even considered that it would happen while he was talking to a parent. I could hear the high pitched murmuring of Mrs. Hickman as Severus slowly and silently started kiss down the trail of hair that led to my more privet regions. As he continued to talk he started to unzip my pants but then quickly stopped. He then sat back quickly and began politely talking in his professor voice.

"Mrs. Hickman, there is simply no way that your son could handle the material that is covered in one of the older groups."

Of course Severus would start something he couldn't finish while talking to a parent. As he stood and walked to his filing cabinet I looked at my feet. I wondered when the hell his next class started. All I remember about school was that there never really was enough time in Severus's classes. Back then I would have gladly spent all day just listening to him talk to me.

"Mrs. Hickman, I understand that Bobby is in privet lessons."

As my lover pinched the bridge of his nose I realized that any hope of us resuming our activities were gone. Slowly I started to pick up the pencils and pens from the desk. The conversation drew on and on. For fifteen minutes Severus talked to Mrs. Hickman and for fifteen minutes I wandered around the office tinkering with and tidying things.

Picking through some of the stacks of papers I saw something that sent me right back to middle school, a note, written in pencil on a folded sheet of notebook paper. I looked over my shoulder to make sure Sev wasn't watching me, which he wasn't, and picked up the paper and sat down on a crate in the corner. Quietly I started unfolding the paper and began to read.

_Dear Severus,_

That's funny I don't ever remember kids writing to their teachers back in my day. I especially don't remember them using their professors' first names.

_You know Dad and I are fighting a whole lot more. He has been getting really violent. I think that it is really just a matter of time until he kicks me out. Yesterday he told me that I was spending too much time at school and then after we argued he told me to get out. He is just crazy. I can't tell you how much your friendship means to me. You know you are everything that I dream of in a partner. Harry doesn't deserve you. _

I read the line again.

_Harry doesn't deserve you._

My breath caught in my chest, and I couldn't breathe. Frantically I looked up to Severus silently asking myself if that was really true. Did I deserve him? I had want him just as he wasn't me but did I ever deserve him?

"Bobby is very talented; I'm not denying that I just don't think…"

Severus glanced up at me giving me a quick smile before tuning back around in his chair. Could this really be happening? Could it really? Looking down at my hands, I examined them, looking hungrily at the tips of the nails. Paint stains marred the too short nails that I bite when nervous. Desperately I search them looking for one that is long enough. Looking back at the letter I bite on to my pinky and start to read where I left off.

_I can't imagine how you must feel. Trapped in a relationship that is going nowhere. You know that things don't have to stay that way. You could just leave. In a few weeks the school year will be over, I'll graduate, and then there will be nothing keeping us apart. If I get into Juilliard then we can go to New York together you and me. You could get that job you were telling me about. You know, the teaching gig that the Catholic School. You'd be able to write more. I've been told new cities are full of inspiration, new relationships as well. We could be happy together you and me. No Dad telling me I'm not good enough, no Harry keeping you from the things you want. Artists are funny, they only see their vision. They live in their own little Technicolor worlds. How can he know that you are so unhappy. How can he know that you are stuck writing arrangements of other great works because you are so unhappy, that your world is now devoid of inspiration. How can he know and understand that the muse that once lived in him has died. You and I both know that only musicians can truly understand each other. Only another musician can know what you need. Think about it. _

_Sean_

Slowly I force my self to breathe deep calming breaths. I don't understand this. Who does this little shit think he is? He doesn't know us he doesn't know me! He doesn't know that I'm lost in my own little world. I'm not lost I know exactly where I am, literally and metaphorically

Slowly I turn my head to look at the love my life, was any of this true?

"Mrs. Hickman, even if your son passed my audition, which I not yet he is capable of, I still can't get him into the class until next semester. There really is just no way to rearrange his schedule this late in the year."

Quickly I fold the letter back up and stand carefully slipping it in to my back pocket. I walk back over to the desk and start to collect my things avoiding all eye contact and trying to be as quiet as possible. Before I could walk away, an arm reached around me and pulled me down into my lover's lap.

"I'm glad you understand my predicament, Mrs. Hickman. I'm glad we had this conversation too. Yes I'll see you at the concert, Goodbye!" with a bang I watch as Sev slammed the phone back on to the desk. "I thought she would never shut up."

He stood me up and quickly turned me around pushing me back against the desk. "No where were we?"

I looked in to his eyes, those beautiful onyx eyes, and pushed my thoughts feelings out of mind, "I was just leaving," he could read my eyes I so desperately wasted to read his, I watched his eyes intently looking for some reaction. And there was one, one of resignation. No disappointment, no anger, no mischief, just resignation. What does that mean?

"I have model coming in at 11," I continued, walking to the door, "So I really need to get going. I'll get you at five, right?"

Severus quickly started to shuffle some music around on his desk. His eyes, that that never betrayed him before, glared angrily at anything and everything but me." I already _told_ you, that you need to get me at SIX today. Can you really not remember! Do I really need to write it down on your hand in permanent marker for you to commit it to memory?"

"Now listen," I said defensively, "Don't you go and get angry with me because I forgot the time I was supposed to get you. After all it is you who keeps changing the time you need to be picked up."

"I wouldn't need to be picked up if we could afford two car payments. Which we would be able to if you got a real job!" As I looked in to his eyes I knew that there was no point in arguing. It would only make things worse. I felt tears sting the backs of my eyes. I had to get out. I had to run. But if I ran then where would that leave us. I needed an out.

The bell rang.

I forced a smile on to my face and bit back the tears. "You have students to teach."

"You have paintings to paint."

"I'll be out front at six." as Severus stepped forward to kiss me a quick goodbye, as he always did when I gave up; I turned and slammed the door in his face. I ran away in to the busy halls I ran all the way to the car and started the engine. The tears started to pour out of my eyes as I placed the car in to drive and pulled out of the parking space. I cried all the way back to the store and when I got there I couldn't bring myself to park the car. I had to do something but I didn't know what, so I just kept driving. Sev was going to kill me when he found out that I was out joy riding. SCREW HIM! Would Sev really do this to me? What did I do wrong? Was I a nag? Was I too needy? I just kept driving. After fifteen minutes, six traffic lights, nine stop signs, lots of tears, a two breakup songs I ended up in a middle class neighborhood. I pulled up next to a yellow house and turned the car off. Furiously I scraped my arm over my face in my attempt to rid myself of the tears, only to have them replaced again. I got out of the car slowly and walked to the door. As I was about to start to walk up the steps the door opened and a very pregnant Hermione Weasley, formerly Granger ushered me in to the small chaotic house.

No words were spoken she just grabbed me and pulled me in to a hug.

She slowly led me into the living room where my three godchildren were playing, and sat me down on the sofa. After ten minutes of crying the oldest of the redheaded children (a feisty five year old named Thomas) decided that it would be a great idea to throw a wooden block at his youngest brother (14 month Noah) causing him to cry. I couldn't help but laugh as Hermione waddled over and drug the small boy to the timeout pin.

"Thomas Ronald! How many times have I told you not to hit, bite, throw things at or deliberately inflict harm on your little brothers?"

As Hermione continued to battle the small boy I walked over and picked up the crying Noah who was being hugged by four year old Forrest.

"But MUM…." Thomas screamed as his mother picked him up and lowered him in to the large empty play pin.

"No buts! You know what you did. Now you are going to sit in that pin for fifteen minutes and not fuss."

I walked back over to where I had been sitting not moments before and started to play with the baby. Hermione soon rejoined me after starting a timer and placing on the mantle above the fireplace for Thomas to see.

"So, are you going to tell me what he did? Or are you just going to continue playing with my son all afternoon?"

I looked over at my friend and sighed. She was always SO smart. It was almost a shame that she decided to not pursue her dream of being Drama Professor. Hogwarts could have used her. But she was happy, being a full time mom allowed her to home school her kids just as she had been home schooled.

"It was nothing, just a bad argument. My fault really."

She saw right through me. "So are you going to tell me what he did? Or are you going to continue to defend him?"

Sighing I looked down at Noah who had started to fall asleep in my lap. His full head of red curls rested gently on his pail unblemished forehead.

"Things just aren't what I thought that they would be."

She scooted closer to me and placed her arm around my shoulders. "oh Harry."

"We fight all the time, over stupid things. It just seams like what he used to love about be only annoys him now. It is almost as if I am just a dead weight holding him back." As I looked at my childhood friend, I realized that I couldn't tell her about the letter. What if she said it was nothing, how could I look Severus in the eye and not feel ashamed for not trusting him? Or what if she said that this was proof of his infidelity, how could I look at him knowing that he was with THAT BOY all afternoon. What was I thinking; Severus would never sleep with his students! He wouldn't risk it.

"I stumbled across a letter."

Hermione gave me calculating look, "what kind of letter?"

"Just a letter, in it was some information. Severus got offered a job at an American school, in New York."

"Is that good?"

I gently curled one of Noah's red locks around my finger, and avoided his mother eyes, "Not really, He….he didn't mention it at all to me. But I know he wants to take it."

"If he wasn't going to discuss it with you then it obviously wasn't that important to him. You two have a life here. He wouldn't consider anything seriously with out talking it through with you. You shouldn't worry about it."

"But I _know_ he wants it. He has always wanted to be in New York. There are so many more opportunities for a musician there."

"Harry if he wanted to go he would have mentioned it!"

"Would he have? I have the shop here, my friends are here, my LIFE is here! Severus has no friends except for a few teachers, he has no family, he hates his job! Why has he stayed? Now that Dumbledore is dead there really is no reason for him to be here."

"What if he is happy where he is at, with the life he has with you, why would he want to uproot you from the life that you love?"

"But New York is so wonderful and….and he has been having such a hard time with his music. It's as if his muse has abandoned him. What if all I'm doing is holding him back? New cities always bring new inspirations. He hates his job, the only reason he put up with for so long was because of the old headmaster. I used to think that I could make him happy, but now here we are. He's miserable, and where he is miserable I'm miserable. What is keeping him here?"

"Harry, Stop this! Severus loves you! If he didn't then he wouldn't be here. It isn't as if is a nice man or anything. He wouldn't spare your feelings if he didn't care. Face the facts. He was an asshole when you met him he is an asshole now. If he wanted to leave then he would. What other proof do you need? He loves you! You're reading too much in to this!"

PING!

"Mum the timer us up! Can I come out now?"

"Yes dear, NO, PLEASE Don't climb out." Hermione jumped from the couch and hurried over to the pin to help him out, "you'll break something for sure. Harry I'm going to go make lunch do you mind watching the boys?"

I just nodded.

I'm here so he's working job he hates, teaching students that are a waist of time all because I am here. He is having a hard time with his music but the trip to New York will surely give him something to sing about. He loves me. If he didn't love me he wouldn't be here. Nothing is keeping him here but me. Hermione is right. He loves me. That's why he's still here. And next Friday we will be on a plane going to America for a very romantic five year anniversary.

"Uncle Harry will you tell me a story?"

I smiled down at Forrest and nodded and carefully, as not to disturb the sleeping toddler in my lap, began to help the boy on to the Sofa, "Thomas would you like to hear story too?"

The boy quickly nodded and ran over to join his brothers and I on the sofa as well.

"Well what kind of story would you like to here?"

Forrest smiled up at me, "tell us a story of magic!"

"NO an adventure!" Thomas protested adamantly.

"But he always gets to choose!"

"Do not"

"Do too"

"Do not!"

Noah began to stir, "Okay you two, quiet down. Don't wake your brother. How about a story about magic.."

"but"

"AND Adventure!"

Both boys agreed that it would be a great idea.

"Okay are you two ready? Mr. and Mrs. Dursley,"

"You are starting it wrong!" Forrest protested.

"Oh yes, Once upon a time in a land not so very far away there live a married couple named Mr. and Mrs. Dursley. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that there were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.

"Mr. Dursley was the Director of a firm call Grummings,"

"What's a firm?" Thomas asked.

"Well it is a kind of company, or a business."

"Like your art shop or Uncle's Fred and George's joke shop?" Forrest continued.

"Not quite but let me continue, Shall we? Well at Grummings they made DRILLS! Mr. Dursley was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large moustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blond and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time spying on the neighbors.. The Dursley's had a small son called Dudley."

"What kind of name is Dudley?" Thomas interrupted again.

"A very bad one."

The boys laughed

"But the Dursley's felt that there were no finer boy anywhere."

As I told the boys a story of how a young orphan with a peculiar scar on his head came to live with the horrid family that belonged to one Vernon Dursley, I let myself forgive Severus for his non existent transgression. He could have left me at anytime, but he didn't. He was still my lover, my partner and my friend. And in a week we would be in new your and things would go back to normal.

"Happiness is a warm gun"

Contrary to popular belief I could sing relatively well as long as I was really trying and I knew the song. For example during the car ride I was singing at the top of my lungs and I wa actually carrying the tune. Not that I would ever do it in front of Severus.

"Happiness is a warm gun, momma" banging out a rhythm on the steering wheel I concentrated on the road as I turned the final corner in to the school parking lot. It was almost completely empty with the exception of a few cars which either belong to Professors or to students who had after school projects.

"Because happiness is a warm gun, momma  
Happiness is a warm gun  
-Yes it is.  
Happiness is a warm, yes it is..."  
Gun!  
BANG, BANG,  
SHOOT, SHOOT,  
Well don't ya know that happiness is a warm gun, momma?"

I turned off the car and locked the doors. I figured that if I was early Severus wouldn't mind me running in to go to the rest room. I walked through those old halls for the second time in a day, I walked down to the depths of the music department, and into the men's room. As I relieved myself in a urinal I examined the graffiti on the wall. The staff at Hogwarts never really seamed to care what the students did to the walls just as long as it was artistic. But it was interesting to see Ashley is a WHORE done up in a dazzling display of color. But even more startling was what that on the wall next to the sinks was a mural of Sev and the words "Putting Sex back in Sectional" above him. Once again I was shaken. But I refused to let it get to me. Severus loves ME! We're just having a hard time right now, and I know him. He wouldn't sleep with his students.

Smiling in the mirror I dried my hands, "No more tears, He loves you!"

I walked out the door and down to my lover's classroom. I peered in and see that Malloy was putting up his music. I watched as Severus started to pack his briefcase with his back to the door. 'He loves me' I reassured myself. Taking a deep breath I reached for the knob but stopped when I saw Malloy walk up behind his Music Professor and slide his hand up the older mans back. I couldn't pull my eyes away as I watched the boy rest his head on my lover's shoulder. I looked down at my feet and repeated to myself that Severus loves me not his boy. Sighing I turned and walked away. Back up the stairs and out to the parking lot.

Opening the car I sat down and turned the car on. I looked at my paint stained nails and frantically looked for one to bite. It had been a stressful week, there were none left to bite. I couldn't help myself; I started to chew on my right ring finger. Biting off the skin on the edges of the nail, I swallowed my grief and thought it over. If he was having an affair, which I'm sure he wasn't, was it really so bad. After all it was me he came home to every night. I was the one he chose to love and create a life with. Severus had never lived with anyone else. There were only ever occasional lovers before me. He had only ever LOVED one other, but he never told me who. That was a long time ago though, back when he was at Hogwarts. I could tolerate his need to explore. I could…..I know I could. Couldn't I?

When the car door opened I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Nervous much?" Severus reached over and pulled my hands out of my mouth, "You shouldn't bite your nails it is a dirty habit."

I turned my face too look at him. I loved him, he loved me. That is all I need. I loved Tom, and he didn't love me back, fidelity was something that I could have never even hoped for with him and still I stomached it knowing deep down that he didn't love me. Even if it made me sick to think of Sev like Tom, fidelity is only in story books and so far my life is no fairytale. Sev loves me like I love him, Tom never did. That's all I need. He saved me from myself he saved me from Tom. He loved me. Sighing, I smiled at him, "I know, but...I've been doing it for years, and it never hurt before some why stop now…….I'm sorry about earlier."

My lover glanced at me, and sighed, "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have said….."

"Stop! I don't want to relive it. So what do you want for dinner?"

Quirk of a lip, "lasagna?"

"You got it."

I drove in the silence all the way back to the apartment. I cooked dinner in the silence of the apartment. I watched as Sev graded papers in silence, until dinner was ready when after we shared our dinner in silence. I pulled out my sketch pad and drew memories of the boys from earlier in silence. Severus eventually walked over to where I sat sketching in the living room and silently took my pen and book away from me.

Leaning in, he kissed me full on the lips and slid his fingers into my hair. Silently he removed my shirt and began to maneuver on to the floor. Discarding clothing everywhere we silently rolled under the piano. I looked up in to those onyx eyes and knew how much I loved him. I knew at least at that moment that as long as he loved me no matter the quantity or the quality of that love, I was content, I was happy.

Looking into his eyes I whispered, "I love you."

Sev just kissed me back.

I'm back…..I never intended to give up on the story I just got a little too involved in real life BUT assuming that life doesn't demand too much of my attention I should be updating regularly soon. I'm no sure how long this will end up being or exactly how it will I will pretty much let the muses take me where they will I have several events that will take place but the effects of those events are still unknown to me. Enjoy!

- Elise


	6. My Generation

**The Book of Love**

By: Elise Jacobs

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything and I am not getting anything out of this except the sick twisted pleasure of making Rowling's characters do things that she never wanted them doing.

**Warning:** This is slash…so if you don't like it DON'T READ IT!

**Chapter Six**

**Friday, April 2****nd**

"Oh Mr. Potter I can't tell you how happy I am with it. You seemed to have captured my Sarah's personality."

I just wished that this damn woman would leave; she had been here for an hour now. "Now Mrs. Smith it was my pleasure to paint your granddaughter but you really mustn't give me credit for anything undue."

"Oh but Mr. Potter, you know I don't give complements where they aren't due. I'm going to tell my daughter in law about you, when she sees this painting of Amelia's little Sarah she will have to have one for each of her sweet daughters. My Son sure knows how to pick them. Mary and Thomas have SIX children all girls, can you imagine? And that's not all she is pregnant again, and this time with twins. I really don't understand them, what are they thinking eight children. Mary will certainly want to see you, so the next time we have lunch I'll be sure to bring her in to speak with you. Yes I can assure you that you haven't seen the last of me or my family and friends."

Smiling courteously, I continued my slow maneuvering. I was trying to get Mrs. Smith, who had already paid me, to the door and hopefully she would take the hint and leave. So far it had taken me fifteen minutes to move the old hen halfway to the door. "I'm very grateful to have your patronage, and I look forward to working with you again."

"Oh it just occurred to me, are you single dear?"

"Actually,"

"You aren't married that is for sure, no wife would tolerate her husband dressing the way you do. It's a shame, young men and women nowadays putting off marriage the way that they do. You're what, Twenty Five?"

"Twenty Four Ma'am,"

"Well you best get a move on young man or all the good ones will be gone. My John, bless his soul, had married me and had a son at your age AND he was running a very successful business. I'm sure a handsome young man like you has his pick of the ladies,"

"Yes but,"

"On to the point, you see I'm on my way to meet the granddaughter of very dear friend of mine and she's a bit of an artist too. I dare say that you too would hit it off!"

"But Mrs. Smith, you see,"

"Jenna is just about your age and is currently working as an engineer for the city but I'm sure she is just waiting for something better to turn up, you should join us, see if you two get along."

"Mrs. Smith,"

"You two would make a very handsome couple there is no doubt about that. She is a grand cook and I'm certain that she would fatten you up, Oh and to think if you two were to be married the children would simple be gorgeous."

"Mrs. Smith, I'm very sorry,"

"Sorry? What have you to apologize for?"

"I'm sorry to tell you that I am in fact, already in a relationship."

"Well that shouldn't keep you from lunch and meeting a beautiful young lady. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing what else is out there."

""I'm not so certain that my BOY friend would share in your belief."

The old woman looked at me as if I were a new toy to be played with "Oh how marvelous. Are you really _gay_?"

It will never cease to amaze mw how amused some people were by that fact, "Have been ever since the day I was born. But I must tell you, I do envy straight couples. I always did want to be a father but Mother Nature seemed to think differently."

"Well then Jenna and I will just have to dine alone, "

"Probably for the better, I'm terrible company," Finally the door!

"I'm sure that isn't true. I hate to leave you but I'm sure that we will be seeing each other very soon. "

"I'll be looking forward to it."

As the bell rang as the door closed I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Turning around I looked at the clock which read 12:07. I leaned back against the door and looked around the room. What to do? What to do? It was about time to rearrange the artwork. Three paintings had sold in the past week on website, so I needed to get those packaged and down to the post office. The floor looked as if it needed to be cleaned. I should probably come in on the weekend to take care if it.

Taking another deep breath I pushed myself forward toward the far wall where I picked a still life of an empty vase and sunglasses off the wall and walked in to the back. I didn't want to think. It I let my mind wander I knew exactly where I would roam. It was way I wasn't painting. I knew that my work was going to be crap if I decided to pick up a pencil or brush.

Carefully I wrapped up the painting. It was being sent to Las Angeles. I have no clue who would have really wanted it. The painting was crap but who was I to complain. One of the great things about being an artist was this if you hated a piece you could sell it and never look at it again. Sadly that was what happened to a great many pieces that I loved too. If I had known that my style would change over time, I would have saved more samples of my works from when I was in school. As it was, all I really had left were the dream works, the "Fantasy Works". Luna had always loved them.

I laughed out loud at the thought of her. She was just so loopy. Walking back out into the main room I picked up another painting from the displays. This one was of shoes lots of shoes. I hadn't noticed that I had been doing so many still lifes. Looking around the room I noticed about three others that subject matter consisted of stationary objects that lay scattered about the loft area. Maybe Severus isn't the only one that was lacking in the inspiration department as of late.

"STOP IT HARRY!" I yelled at myself, "You can't think about it. Severus loves you. Things are going to get better. After we get back from New York life will go back to normal. And Severus will be home more, Ron and Hermione's new baby will be here and we can go back to being happy!"

I willed myself to believe what I was saying. I had no other choice. I had to hope for the best. I had to ignore the alternative.

"There is no alternative; things are going to get better."

I picked up the other painting to be packaged and walked back into the storage room. I love brown paper, and twine. It made me remember Sirius. Chewing on my thumb I reached across the table and grabbed some tape. These small paintings would be placed in reinforced cardboard boxes for shipping but I needed to protect the paint, so I wrapped them with care.

RING!

I nearly jumped out of my skin as the phone from my office rang. Setting down the scissors I ran to pick up the receiver, "Art by Potter, how can I help you?"

"I think I'm going to be really late tonight."

Was this really happening? Was I really hearing this?

"You should expect me around nine or so."

It was happening…..But there had to be an explanation. "Is there a rehearsal for the musical?"

"No I just received wind of another student who is going to be at the audition next week from Bauxbatons, and he is singing the exact same piece as Sean. It's a complete disaster."

"Oh,"

"Yes, I regret that you are going to have to amuse yourself tonight. I'll be home around nine."

When the bell to the shop door started to jingle quickly yelled out the door that I would be right with them.

"Can't this wait until Monday? Does he really need to change his song this late? After all I'm sure that there is nothing to worry about if he is as good as you say he is."

"You don't know what you are talking about."

"NO if he is really that good he should be able to impress the judges even if he is singing the same thing as someone else."

"Harry, I'm not going to argue with you, about this. He has to change his selections. It is as simple as that. I won't have him miss this opportunity just because my lover won't let us have the time that we need to work. I'll be home nine we can talk about it then."

I set down the receiver and looked up in to the main room. The blonde woman from the previous day was standing in the middle of the show room twiddling with the sleeve of her blue sweater. I wouldn't think about Severus right now.

"I didn't expect to see you back here so soon how can I help you?"

She smiled a large smile, and walked forward to shake my hand. "I had been thinking about it ever since I was here last week. Your work is simply wonderful. And I have been in the market for and Artist for while. Truly the reason I came in last week was to buy a painting for the dining room, but I wasn't expecting to find what I did. It is almost as if providence brought us together."

I was confused, and I didn't try to conceal the feeling from my face, "Do want to see the paintings again. I'm sorry to say I haven't anything new."

The blonde smiled and looked at her shoes before continuing, "I remember you saying that you did commissioned work."

"Yes I do, would you like to come up and sit down," I pointed to the loft where my easel was set up, "If you want me to do something I don't mind doing a few sketches for you. I could show you what I'm working on right now."

"That'd be great." She picked up a book bag from the ground and followed me up the spiral staircase, "I'm a writer you see. And my book was picked up by a publishing company about month ago."

I led the lady, who I just now realized, whose name I didn't know to sit down in the corner. "Really? That's wonderful, I'm sure your husband is very proud.  
When she giggled lightly I felt a small pang of jealousy, "He is."

Reaching for my sketch pad I asked one of the most practiced lines in my vocabulary, "What is it you would like me to do for you?"

When she reached down to the bag I felt nervous, dear lord, please don't let it be a wedding picture. To my surprise she pulled out a large three ring binder. "This is my book. I would like for you to illustrate it."

I was shocked. I quickly reached over and took the offering.

"It's a young adult novel about two sisters, and their differences. The elder, Nat, is content to do what ever family wants of her, never once going against their wishes, the other, Marcy, is a social light, and quite the favorite of her parents in spite of the fact that she is always getting into trouble."

Opening the cover I see the title page. Blackberries, by Analiese Koch. I began to flip through the pages. I noticed several dividers, one for each chapter, and several more with words such as Character Bios, History, and Geography. "It's not fantasy?"

"Oh it is. There is a great deal of magic. The girls, they are both witches, and they go to school with all sorts of beings and creatures. Their mother and father are both healers. And they want Nat to follow in their footsteps and go to university and get married and have kids."

I smiled up at her, "But she doesn't want to."

"She thinks she does. That is until she gets put in an unexpected class by mistake."

I flipped to the Character bios section and saw her amateur drawings of Nat and several other students. I couldn't help but be amused by them.

"She is confronted with several problems: A very handsome teacher who has a reputation of flirting with, and possibly sleeping with," I frowned the images, "several of the girls in his classes, a boy who challenges all of her views of the world, her parents divorce, a sister who is on the road to destruction, a love for an art form that is slowly becoming her world. All of this is going on while worrying about the up and coming college entrance is then forced to choose between her dreams and her family's wishes."

"What does she choose?"

"What all good little girls do, she gives up on her dreams and does what her parents want her too. She goes on to become one of the world most promising doctors."

"What happens to the sister?"

"She dies."

"I thought you said that this was for young adults."

"It is, I never said anything about it having a happy ending. True life is making compromises and putting together the best life you possibly can. Adults lie to children. They tell them anything is possible. Well it isn't. Our lives aren't fairytales. So, neither is my Fantasy."

As I looked through the book all I could think about was how excited I was.

"I don't usually do stuff like this."

"I don't usually walk into coffee shops and start conversations that lead sex. But that is how I met my husband."

I laughed at her, then looked back at the notebook I began to wonder what it would be like to visualize someone else's dream for them.

"Analiese?"

"Oh how silly of me. I never introduced myself, did I? Yes my name is Analiese, Analiese Koch my married name. I used to be a Jones, so when the opportunity arose to get rid of the common name I did."

"It's nice to meet you Analiese, and I look forward to working with you." I offered her my hand which she took.

"Oh I'm so relieved." I series of emotions flashed across her face before she jumped up and picked up the now empty book bag. "I have to go tell Robert!"

"Wait, can I get your number?"

"Oh it's on the second page. Shall I come in tomorrow? See how the drawings are coming along."

She was so animated. I almost wish I had my camera out so that I could get some snap shots of her for some potential work in the future. "Give me a few days. I need to read it first. I'll call you when I finish. Will that work?"

She seemed a bit embarrassed. "Yes of course. I'll just leave you to it."

Looking at the book I decided that I would have to wait until I got home for the night. 'True life is compromising, and putting together the best life you possibly can.' She was right, life was making compromises. I was happy in a way. I looked over to the railing and saw the nearly completed painting of Sev's hands. I needed to get some work done on it. I began chewing on my finger again.

"Get up Harry, and work."

* * *

The rest of the day was very lazy: mailed the packages, finished the hands, worked on a few more marionette dolls and rearranged all the work on the wall. It was now seven and I couldn't force myself to get up and leave. I didn't want to go home. So now here I was, mopping the floor, just about to lock up, watching people outside dressing in their club clothes as they walked from their cars to the Bar/club district that was just around the corner from here.

They were all my age. Mrs. Smith hit on a valid point earlier. The kids, and we were really were still just kids, of my generation really weren't ones to settle down. Ginny had only just recently been married. Blaise felt obligated when he found out she was pregnant. Hermione and Ron were extremely unique. They got married right after they got out of school and started having babies right away. Even I had rushed into a relationship. I never thought twice about it.

In school I had Tom and after that I was alone then I had Sev. That was it. Was that normal? I had never had any doubts before. Why should I care now?

Looking around I realized that I had nothing left to do. It was Friday night, I was twenty four and I had nothing to do. How lame was I? Picking up the notebook and my bag I started turning off all of the lights, and locking up.

The drive home was pleasant I was able to watch the sunset. Sev had never really appreciated them. But then again I had never appreciated the way a person's voice smoothly changed pitch as it formed words, then sentences and then thoughts. He once said that listening to my voice was like listening to the greatest symphony. I just laughed at him. Just like he laughed at me when I told him that I could look at him for hours and never find a fault. That seemed so long ago now.

When I climbed the stairs of our complex I saw that another package had arrived. It was probably some new music for Severus to sift through. Severus might not have much personal recorded work but nobody denied the fact that he was one of the best Choral directors in the country. He turned out the strongest new talent in Europe. Too bad he didn't see it.

When I unlocked the door and walked into the apartment and saw what a sty it was, I felt a bit disheartened. I immediately started to tidy up. The last thing I wanted was for Sev to start bitching when he got back. By the time I had finished getting the place in order it was 8:47.

"What to do, what to do?"

I ran in to the bedroom and pulled out a pair of flannel PJ bottoms, then quickly replaced my blue jeans with them. Opting to lose the shirt completely, I threw the dirty clothes into the hamper and walked back into the living room where the notebook that Analiese had left for me was sitting on the coffee table. It was as if it was begging me to read it. Who was I to refuse when it had been so patient all day?

I sat down on the sofa and opened it. The story jumped off the page at me. Before I knew what was happening I lost myself in it. Nat, a studious little witch fought with her sister the entire way to school. It was the first day of her senior year, and she was not looking forward to having to see her ex boyfriend.

It was odd, I hated reading. But for some reason I couldn't make myself stop reading this story even if I had wanted to. I was captivated. I was three chapters into it when I heard the familiar sound of Severus feet climbing the stairs. He was later than he said he would be but I refused to care. Instead I decided to try and keep reading. It was then that I noticed something very odd. There was a second set of footsteps. When the door opened I could just hear something being murmured but I couldn't make it out.

I closed the book and stood up when Severus entered quickly followed by Sean Malloy.

"If you don't mind can I use your bathroom Severus?"

"Sure, it's just down the hall." I looked at Severus as the kid disappeared into the back of my home.

I swallowed my grief, gave him a strained smile and walked over to him to give him a quick kiss. "Did you two get a lot of work done?"

When he smiled at me I felt empty, "Yes we did, actually. I'm sorry about this; Sean just came up to use the toilet."

I never in my life would have guessed that a statement containing the word toilet would comfort me so much. I reached my arms up and pulled my lover into another kiss.

"Well it's good to see you too. I'm glad to see that you aren't too mad at me." Severus joked. He then picked me up and carried me back to the sofa and proceeded to sit on top of me.

"Sev! Stop it! I was reading"

When he began to tickle me I just about died.

"Please stop, PLEASE! I can't breathe!"

In my hysterics I didn't notice Sean walking back in to the room. It was only when he coughed that Severus desisted and turned to speak to his student.

"Thank you again for the ride. Good work today."

I grabbed Sev's elbow and rested my head on his shoulder. Hopefully Sean was getting the message that this man belonged to me. When the other brunette made eye contact with me I was certain to send daggers at him with my eyes. But nothing could have prepared me for what left his mouth next.

"What time should I be here tomorrow?"

When Severus' hand grabbed a hold of mine it did little to ease my anger.

"You should probably be here around nine."

"Alright, thanks again Severus. I can't tell you how much your help means to me."

STOP using is name you little shit! Sev squeezed my hand as if to say something, but I was in no state of mind to figure out what.

"I'm your teacher that's my job."

When the boy had finally left I sprung from the couch and stormed into the kitchen to make myself a drink.

"Harry, I wanted to tell you myself."

Slamming the cabinet door I screamed back at him. "What that you are inviting a student over to your home for the day."

Severus walked in to the kitchen as I was pouring orange juice into a half full glass of vodka. "We only have five days to make sure he has this new piece down," He reached around me and picked up my drink, "I thought it would be more comfortable here than at school."

"Give that back to me." I reached to retrieve the glass from his hand only to have it moved out of my reach again. "And you had absolutely no right to invite him into my home with out asking me!"

"You shouldn't drink when you're upset. It only leads to things you will regret."

I kept trying to reach the glass only to watch as Severus poured it out. "That is none of your concern! If I want drink then I'll drink, god damn it. I'm a grown ass man for Christ's sake"

"Then stop acting like a petulant child. You know that if I had asked you, you would have thrown a hissy fit and refused to let him come over even though it would be better for everyone involved if we worked here."

"I DON'T THROW HISSY FITS!" I hated it when he referred to my justified anger towards him a Hissy Fit.

"Really what are you doing right now?"

"You know damn well that I would have said no because it was inappropriate, not because I wanted to be a pain in the ass!"

"We are working on an audition. Teachers have lessons in their home on a regular basis all the time. There would have been nothing inappropriate about it."

I turned and picked up a glass and the vodka bottle and walked into the living room. I proceeded to pour a glass as I continued with my argument, "nothing inappropriate my ass. The boy calls you by your first name."

"So did you when you were my student." he interjected taking my glass and the bottle back into the kitchen where he poured both of them down the drain.

"That was different. And I'm not an idiot Severus Snape. Don't think I don't know what is going on!"

The apartment was completely silent. When Sev walked out of the kitchen I saw anger painted on his face.

"And what pray tell is going on?"

"I know how he looks at you. I know because I used to look at you that exact same way."

"You should also know how I feel about affairs with students."

"I only know that you wouldn't sleep with me. But that didn't stop us from becoming very sexually involved not even a year after my graduation. No one commented on it then, so maybe you thought they wouldn't comment this time."

Severus took a step closer to me and looked me in the eye. I could read his eyes now. He wasn't even trying to hide his emotions. He spoke calmly and forcefully "if you have something to say, and then say it."

I couldn't handle it; I stepped back and into the wall. "I…I…"

"You what" he took another step forward.

I turned my eyes away against my better judgment.

"Do you think I'm sleeping with a student?"

"No I…" I started to panic. Tom please stop!

"Do you think that I am having and AFFAIR with Sean Malloy? Do YOU!?"

I screamed when Severus punched a hole in to the wall next to my head. I sank on to the floor and started to cry. I don't know really what happened next. All I could think was that I was sorry and that I wouldn't do it again. I'm sorry Tom, please forgive me. I love you. Please! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, It is all my fault.

I distantly heard some one calling my name. Part of me wanted to just stay hidden away from the word the other wanted to follow that loving voice, the one that seemed so caring.

"Harry, Please I'm sorry, Harry look at me. Come back to me. You have to trust me. Come on Harry. Please."

I forced myself to leave the dark world of my mind and I looked up into his eyes I saw fear and regret. They were begging me to say something anything. "I'm sorry, Severus!"

He pulled me against his chest and I cried.

I couldn't bring myself to stay angry at him. He was so good to me. Tom would have just left me there. Severus loved me enough to care for me at my worst. It didn't matter if what I alluded to was in fact the truth. It didn't matter because he loved me. If he didn't he wouldn't be holding me.

"Come on, I have get off the floor my leg is going to sleep."

I laughed at him, "is that a rheumatism you are complaining about you old bag?"

"Hardly," He said as he led me into the bed room where he plopped me on the bed.

Yawning I rolled over on to his pillow and inhaled his ever present scent. I watched as he changed out of his work clothes and prepared for bed. I was content to just lay there. When he left and reappeared with two toothbrushes and two small cups of water, complied quietly. Looking at him walk away to return the dental hygiene utensils to there proper place, I noticed that he was tense. So after he came back from the other room and sat down I got up on my knees and began to rub his back.

Severus let out a moan, "God Harry, you have magic fingers"

I laughed at him softly, "that's what she said."

"Ha Ha," Sev sarcastically laughed back at my bad joke, "Aren't you supposed to be mad at me right now? Jesus, I'm mad at myself."

"I really don't want to talk about it. I've cried, I've forgiven and I now I want to forget."

"Harry," I frowned at him as he turned around to look at me. "What I did was unforgivable. I promised you I would treat you like HE did."

"You never have. And even if you did I wouldn't care."

"What kind of thing is that to say?"

"What do you mean?"

"I put a hole, the size of your face, in the wall. I almost hit you. And you don't care?"

"I love you, and you love me. I know you would never hurt me."

Severus looked scared, "but Harry I almost did. I never told you but saw it once. I saw the way HE treated you. You had told me about it before but I saw him years ago. HE …I watched as he backhanded you then pushed you in the car. You must have been fifteen. HE…"

"Why are you afraid to say his name?"

"He did horrible things. He's not worthy of a name."

"He's a person. He deserves to have his name used. Tom wasn't always like that. He could be sweet and kind, I remember a time when just his name would make me smile. He never treated me too terribly."

"What are you talking about do you not remember the cuts? The bruises? How he would force himself on you? Do you not remember what he did to all of those young men and women?"

"He can't be held accountable for his actions! He has a disorder!"

"What that he is fucked up!?"

"That's why he's getting help!"

"Harry he RAPED twenty seven people! And I suspect he raped you…."

I was pissed at him, "I ALWAYS consented. Tom wouldn't have done that to me. He loved me! I know you don't understand that. And I don't try to say that what he did was right. But he needed help! Help which he is getting now."

"Can you not see that what he did was unforgivable?" Sev thrust his arm under my face for me to see. "I know you remember this! They did this! He and his gang were responsible the Hogwarts Shooting! Do you not remember that day? Thirty one students DEAD! Forty three wounded! Who knows how many more if you hadn't stopped him."

I looked at the white scar from the gunshot wound that nearly cost Severus his arm. We never talked about Tom. We never talked about the shooting. I hadn't been with him for a year. I blamed myself for that day. If I had been a better lover, if I had loved him more, if I hadn't been so demanding then I could have stopped it.

"None of that matters now! I don't ever want to discuss it again. Tom is locked up where we all agree he should be. I love you, and you aren't Tom. You're Severus Snape. And YOU would never hurt me. You were angry, rightfully so, and that's that. This argument is over!"

He opened his mouth to protest, "I said OVER!"

He just turned and re-set the alarm.

I had to make things better. The day couldn't end like this! It couldn't.

I watched as he turned out the light and climbed under the blankets, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. Crawling back in to place I turned off my own light and lay down next to my long time lover. I felt like crying again, but I couldn't let myself. I couldn't, so I did the next best thing I rolled over and slid my hand down Sev's chest.

I carefully leaned down and kissed him. I had to let him know how mush I loved him. At first he didn't respond but after a moment he kissed me back. But instead of taking it further he rolled back over and left me alone. The tears stung the back of my eyes and I couldn't handle it. I grabbed my pillow and walked in to the living room to make myself a small nest to curl up in, and I cried myself to sleep.

The next thing I knew the phone was ringing. When it stopped in the middle of the second ring I new Severus had answered it. I decided that I would just go back to sleep it was still dark out after all. So when Severus appeared and sat down next to me on the sofa I felt very worried.

"That was Ginny, She is coming to pick you up. There was a fire, and Ms. Lovegood was taken to the hospital in London."

"Luna?" I sat up and walked quickly in to our room and pulled a suitcase out of the closet.

Severus joined me and started getting me shoes that I would want.

"Don't worry about me, get your things ready." Silly Man.

"Sean is going to be here in three hours."

I looked up at him. Completely at a loss for words, "but Luna she…."

Severus looked at his hands. "You are going to need to be in London until at least Monday. I have classes and Sean can't afford to lose that practice time."

I wanted to scream but I couldn't. Neither of us could handle another fight. I nodded and went back to packing.

Ginny knocked on the door at 6:30. She had Hannah with her, who needed to be changed. So while she was taking care of her I turned to Sev, "I'm sorry about the fight."

"Me too."

"I'll call you when we get there."

"I'll be here."

Tears stung my eyes. I didn't want to leave. "When packing for the trip on Wednesday, if I'm not here, don't forget to pack extra socks. And I'll be sure to be back for your surprise on Friday. Don't forget! Just you and me…" The tears started to flow.

Sev pulled me in to a hug. "It'll all be okay. Just wait and see. Luna will be okay."

"I d-don't want to leave y-you." I couldn't control the sobs, "Not like this, n-not after the fight." I pulled back to look at him.

:"I think it's best you go alone." His hands held my face, and he brushed the tears from my cheeks. They always had been just the right size. "I need to think. So do you. And besides Sean and I have a lot work to do, I'm sure you don't want to hear us squawking like magpies all day."

Sev always was one make the tears stop by bad jokes.

"If not before then, We'll see each other on Friday. Right? five o'clock you and me?"

I nodded, and watched as Severus carried my bag out the door.

Ginny came over and gave me a hug carefully as not to crush the baby. "I'm sure she is fine if she wasn't they would have told us."

If only that were the reason I was crying. I felt for all of the essentials. Wallet, keys, prescription sunglasses, on an impulse I picked up Analiese's book, maybe Luna would like for me to read to her. I followed Ginny down the stairs to the car where Severus stood leaned against the hood still in his tee-shirt and pajamas pants. I ran into his arms and hugged him.

"Really, all these hysterics. One would think that we will never see each other again."

"Just shut up and kiss me!"

And he did. It was sweet and tender.

"I love you." and told him as he helped me into the SUV.

"I know, drive safe Ginny."

"Will do Severus."

He closed the door and ran to the curb. Ginny slowly started to back out and I watched as he turned and walked back up the stairs. I watched until we turned the corner and the complex disappeared from sight.

"You know how much I love him don't you Ginny?"

The ginger woman smiled at me, "I do Harry, but honestly. Not even Hermione and Ron get like that when they have to be separated. It is just a few days."

I looked at my nails looking for something to chew on and found nothing. I don't need to think about it.

"I hope she's okay."


End file.
